Anniversary - Recollect, Reflect, Redress

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"An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow."

An anniversary is the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. Anniversaries come knocking on our doors, asking us to count our gains and move on. Contrary to popular myth, it is not the time to ponder over your losses and bang your head worrying what went wrong. Most people review their losses and try to learn from the mistakes that they have committed; hardly do we come across someone who savored his achievements, patted himself on the back and told himself, "Well done! Keep it up!" It requires confidence and self-belief and that distinguishes a winner from the also-rans......


Anniversaries could be a birthday anniversary, a marriage anniversary, a death anniversary or the anniversary of any other day between the dates of birth and death. Sometimes the occasion is one of joy, sometimes of regret, sometimes of achievement, sometimes of mourning, sometimes of wonder and sometimes of bitterness. There may be occasions each year when you celebrate the anniversary cursing yourself for having caused it in the first place!

Though an occasion to celebrate, anniversaries can also be moments of reflection and evaluation. If it is a marriage anniversary, couples tend to look back and take note of what worked in their favor and what did not. Some irritating habit of the husband, like throwing a wet towel on the bed after a bath, may have driven the wife up the wall but looking back, that same quirky habit seems like the glue that has kept the channels of communication open between them. There are also happy moments which, on being brought to life in the landscape of the mind, drive away the polluted mist that may have settled down on the relationship.

Birthday anniversaries are not as ambivalent in appeal, unless it happens to be of a person who's serious and sensitive about life and the shadow of death running parallel to it. On a birthday anniversary you relive the day when you first got a bundle of joy in your arms. Subsequent birthdays remind you that the joy is still around for you, though the umbilical cord is losing its metaphorical attachment with increasing rapidity.

In addition to the two anniversaries which have grown to occupy dominant significance, there are many others which have paled away. Some are so insignificant that they do not find mention in anyone's almanac. However, the date may not remain with you each year; the experience has not been buried in the sands of time. Do you remember the day you first saw a railway engine? An airplane? Or the first trip to the market holding the little finger of your father? Or the first time you got wet in the rain? Or the first time you held a butterfly in your palm? These can never be a day of the past, though there is no anniversary to remind us of these days. You celebrate their anniversary when you close your eyes and turn the clock back; your bleary eyes make the celebratory applause.

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Author: Dorothy Smith, the author of this article, writes about the events & special occasions. Want to know more about anniversary or anniversary cards? Celebrate anniversary by sending free anniversary greetings for her and other related resources


Anniversary - Recollect, Reflect, Redress


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Flirting Tips For Teenagers - Worry-Free Flirting Techniques

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This post reveals some great flirting tips for teenagers. You're probably aware that flirting is a part of a teen's exploration of adolescent life. Adolescence is a time of learning social skills, exploring friendships, and testing your boundaries.

While flirtation and sexual experimentation is considered normal in the teen years, there are cases when modesty is best, and would even make flirtation more enjoyable.

The end point of flirtation is to get to know the opposite sex, and to understand what exactly you would want in a mate. Though teens rarely think of marriage when they flirt, as you'd grow older, you would understand the reason why you should always act with the thought of the consequences of your actions in mind.

Ten years from now, it won't matter that your husband or your wife is a hottie. It would matter more if he or she cared about you to the point of sticking out through the tough times with you. With that, we bring you flirting tips for teenagers......


Flirting tips for teenagers has a lot to do with caution just as much as it has a lot to do with technique. Understand that you are enflaming someone's emotions in this aspect.

If done right, flirting can help you get to know a member of the opposite sex, and it could lead to a rewarding relationship. On the other hand, if left without control and if done without wisdom, flirtation would only lead to broken hearts, possibly an unwanted pregnancy and a miserable life.

Flirting Tip # 1: Less is more.

While the trend nowadays is to be blatant about your feelings, to go over-the-top with the body language, there is a virtue to giving subtle signals instead.

Whether it's a friendly look, a warm smile, a nice gesture like giving her a sheet of facial tissues when she sneezes, or letting him have a sheet of schedules for the classes you have in common (if he doesn't have them yet), let the other person know that you care and are interested.

These may be old school, but these actions do send the "I want to get to know you better," message across in a sweet way.

Flirting Tip # 2: Keep in mind that a heart is at stake.

There are times when teens like the feeling of being liked too much that they show a seemingly intense interest, only to dump the person later. This is one of the vital flirting tips for teenagers that you should be alert on.

Beware of letting actions like these turn the tables on you. Some young women have been plagued by stalkers because of playing with a man's emotions, while young men have been plagued with stalker ex-girlfriends who even harass the current girlfriends. Beware of hurting another; you might be spurring a psycho into action.

Flirting Tip # 3: Moderation is key.

Even though your emotions are running afire and you're enjoying the intensity, keep in mind that there are still so many people out there for you to meet.

Commitment is a serious business, and breaking it off breaks hearts and even destroys lives. On the other hand, if you do follow through to marriage with it and you married the wrong guy/gal, you'll surely be stuck with a headache ten years down the line. Keep the brakes on, especially when you're having fun.

On the whole, there is only so much wisdom that adults can teach teenagers. What they say is true: experience is the best teacher.

If you're not convinced that learning from articles like these is the way to go, then learn from living and loving. And when you survive, maybe then you can make your own flirting tips for teenagers.

Enjoy life in a wholesome way; keep the brakes on!

Photo: http://www.bbcnorman.com

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Author: Discover how you can mesmerize the opposite sex with flirting body language and conversational hypnosis techniques. Grab your FREE course that reveals 10 groundbreaking persuasion secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm.


Flirting Tips For Teenagers - Worry-Free Flirting Techniques


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You Can Learn to Be a Player! - The Art of Attraction

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Ohhh boys are you going to love this one. I came across a very cool article in the Sunday telegraph called "Art of picking up women" that was talking about Attraction Coaches. Now what was this article about?

Lets see ...

The aim? An experiment - to see if these so called attraction coaches could talk the talk and walk the walk.

The results? Seconds later they were surrounded by attractive women who were hanging off their every word.

Who wants a piece of that? Well guess what? They even got your average joe guy taught him some tricks of the trade and within a couple of hours they had turned the average guy into a complete chick magnet as well.

Average Joe last words " I think they have created a monster" lol - love it!

Ironic? maybe ... strange?? who knows ... possible? Absolutely!

This post explains what happens in real life. Look guys I hear you! I know you've been trying. You just haven't been trying the right things! LoL But I don't want to bruise the ego, because I know .. that no one likes that. I guess you cant blame anyone because the only person that taught you how to act around women .. was your mother. And she probably wasn't the best on to listen to ... in the attraction department......


When I talk about attraction. I don't mean being a complete sleaze, A**hole, or player. Its just some simple skills that you can put in replacement of all the other skills that you have been told work .. but really don't.

Here are some key tips for the guys which work real wonders with chicks.

Be unapologetic for your desire as a man - Girls like their men to be masculine, to have presence and to know who and what they are.

Be well groomed and pay attention to the details - Girls actually do like guys that take care of themselves. They pay attention to these things. And hey if you are a guy and you are wearing stuff that makes you feel much more confident isn't it a win win situation?

Your personality is the most powerful asset in creating attraction - Too man guys focus too much time and energy on what car they drive and what job they have. They think the better those things are then the more a chick will like them. The truth is I would rather date a more average type of guy with an amazing personality, then some slick guy who's personality is similar to that of a brick wall .... but hey maybe that's just me.

Give her sincere compliments on something other than her looks - like I said before in one of my posts. You want to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack. You do this by giving a smart girls compliments on her looks. And a good looking girl a compliment on her brains. Lol. The main thing to remember is to compliment her on something that she normally wouldn't be acknowledged for.

Focus on conversation on emotional topics, staying away from discussing facts - This is really important. Because a lot of nice guys get stuck into serious conversations too fast, too soon. This kind of can kill the cocky funny mood. So you really want to touch on subjects that you can have a lot of fun with and use against her ...

Use humor and misinterpret everything she says as her hitting on you - Seriously this one works like a charm all the time. The reason why it works so well is because you are turning the tables on her. Girls are usually used to getting hit on. They are the object of affection. And so when you play with her as if she is hitting on you .. she kind feels like she wants to play along more .. because no-one else messes with her head like that and she wants to see if she can turn the tables back around. You are presenting her with a challenge and that will make her stick around.

Learn to be physically playful - Using it in a stylish manner will help break down barriers. Omg I can not stress this one enough. You have to move through that touch barrier ASAP. Touch the small of her back or her shoulder. Girls actually really like this and it helps you move past the .. lets just be friends barrier. This SHOWS interest. Showing interest through body language is a much more powerful means of communicating attraction over talking.

Know when to take charge and constantly lead her - Girls really like to be able to sit back and not have to think. They really like it when the guy knows what to do and what to say and how to act. Its shows that he is competent and capable and this is a very attractive quality. This also goes along with the fact that you can't agree to all the suggestions she has. That you have to make more of your own and then follow through on that.

Its NOT OK to be sexually needy, buts its OK to be sexual - This is one of the most effective means to create attraction. Word play makes the conversation fun, challenging and very interesting for both sexes.

Be proactive and live your life - This is important so that you are able to be a whole and complete person before you engage with girls. They want you to be your own person. Because the more complete you are as a person the more this radiates competence, confidence and esteem. And chicks .. well we just find that really HOT.

When learning how to attract chicks there really is a lot of focus on personal development. On uncovering beliefs within yourself that have been holding you back. Especially with things to do with rejection. Once you are able to overcome these barriers and be like rock on the inside your esteems will no longer be affected by your outcomes with girls. Not only will you have more success with girls, but more success with your life in general.

Girls if you have ever wondered why you have been attracted to some guy and haven't seemed to figure it out. Well I just gave you a list of reasons there. Its now up to you to recognize when a guy is using this against you and see if he is worth your time.

For the guys .. well most chicks aren't that smart and they wont know what hit them. Use some of these skills to gain their attention .. and that way you will at least have the chance to talk to them .. rather than getting the usual bitchy look, crossed arms and rolling of eyes.

Photo Credit: http://www.leonlioe.com

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Author: Jennifer Nielsen the founder of Hot Alpha Female is a vibrant 20 something chick who specializes in making an art of "getting the dating game". She has a passion for building the awareness of her readers to define who they really are so that they are able to build happier and healthier relationships in the future. Her respective blog therefore is a collection of her works so far and proves to be a great resource hub with interviews, videos, audios and posts of the most current and up to date issues that people experience when it comes to dating and relationships.

Visit the official Hot Alpha Female site @ http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com



You Can Learn to Be a Player! - The Art of Attraction


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What Defines a Successful Relationship - Its Not What You Think!

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Seriously there is so much that goes into defining successful relationships. Now I know I could just cover the usual. Honesty, love, communication blah blah blah ...

Yeh yeh I know that we need them .... I mean you have to be pretty slow to not realize that these are highly important things in ANY relationship.

But I'm going to go through some things that I think are SO important that a lot of people overlook. So you guys better be ready for it.

So lets just say for arguments sake that I'm talking about a LTR. For those of you that are not used to the lingo, that means Long Term Relationship.

I believe that there are 2 parts in attaining a successful relationship......


Part ONE - Before the relationship - It All Starts With You!

Get your own life: So this is a subject that I have covered over and over again. I'm always talking about loving yourself and living your own life. In order to attract an ideal partner into your life .. you really have to be that which you are seeking. I know it sounds soo profound doesn't it? I'm quite proud of myself, thanks for asking =)

But what I mean is that once you have established what it is that you want to see in your ideal partner then you have to BECOME the type of person that your ideal partner would have to date! Seems simple right? Well it is. So that means stop focusing on what is missing in your life and start focusing on living your life, enjoying it and making the most out of what you have got. It is only until you do this, and give LOVE to yourself first that you are then in the right emotional framework to get yourself into a healthy and stable relationship.

Get Over it: What do I mean here? Well I'm talking about the fact that there is probably some negative beliefs that you have internalized from your past relationships that may affect any future relationships. Meaning to say, its time to delve into them, uncover all your feelings and emotions, bring them out and deal with them. Its then time to replace any old beliefs with new and empowering ones. Its then time to replace old habits with new ones that serve you. Its time to clean that slate so you can make a fresh start.

Selection: A lot of people stuff it up here. They pick someone who they are simply just attracted to and yet have nothing in common with. Here's the thing. As much as I love talking about attraction and its magical affects on the opposite sex. Attraction without anything to back it up .. is useless for any potential long term relationship. No matter how hot you are or how attracted you are to someone, it ain't going anywhere if you have nothing in common with them.

Common Values: I really think that before you dive into a relationship that you know what you want. Like I'm not talking about a hardcore shopping list with 3 million things on it. But I am talking about sitting down and really thinking about the things that are important to YOU and therefore what you would also like to see in your potential partner. What I'm talking about is values. Like here is an extreme example. If you are a highly ambitious driven and focused person then you don't really want to be dating someone who's whole life ambition is to milk the government for all its got by being the first person to get the most payouts from unemployment benefits. You get the point.

Part TWO - During The Relationship

Honest Appreciation: OK so here is the thing. Even though this may sound really lame I have read " Women Are From Venus And Men Are From Mars" - Absolutely awesome book and I recommend that anyone who wants to have healthy relationships should read that book. The one thing that I did learn is that Men and Women have different ways in which they feel loved. They communicate in a different language.

Girls in order to feel loved need to be heard and validated. Meaning to say that when they have a terrible day they just need to talk about it, just it makes them feel so much better. Guys, we do not want solutions. Any of the solutions that you come up with we have already thought of. We just want you to listen to our stuff. N by doing that ... we will think that you are the sweetest and most caring boyfriend in the world. N hey who is complaining, its less work for you!

For the guys. Well apparently honest appreciation is really important. The number one thing that you want to feel is that you are capable men. This means that you can do things without our help, but would like that to be acknowledged at the end.

Understanding Of The Others Needs: Everyone has rules. Everyone has rules to tell them when its time to feel loved and unloved. This falls under communication in the sense that you have to be able to talk to your partner to know your partner so that you can help them get their needs met, while they help you get yours met too. Its all about communicating in the right language and having the trust that this person is going to sick by you thick and thin.

Quality Time: So here is the thing. You can have this great partner who is right for you in every single way. But if you hardly get to see him, then there is no POINT! When I say quality time, I'm saying that you actually need to set aside time, that is just YOU and HIM/HER time. No one else. You can do something that you enjoy doing together or whatever. We are all busy these days, life is not normal if you are not busy. But making the time out to spend with your partner is so important when it comes to having a successful relationship.

I'm not just talking about watching a movie together. But I mean taking some extra time out of your schedule and planning something together. Its also good to have like date night where you can take turns on who gets to think of the ideas. But the most important thing that you are setting aside time to spend with your partner, rather than just spending time with them when you get the chance.

Time Apart: Some of you may be thinking. Say what?! It sounds like I'm contradicting myself right? Well not really. Ever heard the saying give someone the gift of missing you? Well I'm kind of applying that theory here. Yeh its great spent quality time with someone. But see I mentioned the word QUALITY. There is no point being with your guy or girl 24/7. Because no matter how good they are ... you appreciate them more when you haven't seen them all day or the past couple of days.

This is also important because it also prevents you from becoming too attached and needy. Meaning to say doing this will prevent your from becoming too needy and dependent on the other person. In essence what I'm trying to say, is that you still need to remember yourself and your own life. You still have your own things to do and you still have a fulfilling life even if he is not their beside you all the time.

Growth: I was saving the best for last. For a relationship to maintain its greatness, it has to grow. N the people within it have to grow together. It does not work if one person grows and the other person remains the same. That is usually the reason why most people do break up. In order to grow the people within that relationship have to have a common goal or something that they are striving for together. Some of the best marriages that I have seen are couples who are supporting each other in attainment of their dreams. Without this kind of direction and growth the relationship gets stale and unfufilling. Its great if people within the relationship can support and inspire each other in achieving each of their own or common goals.

With that being said. In answer to the second part of that question "what does it take to achieve that success?" Well i would have to say it takes a couple of things. At first it takes maturity, self love and respect. This is will get you into a relationship that is worthwhile. In order to maintain that then you will need, communication, patience, unconditionally love, self sacrifice, undying trust, empathy and the belief that this wonderful relationship that you have created is something that you well and truly deserve.

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Author: Hot Alpha Female is a vibrant 20 something chick who specializes in making an art of "getting the dating game". She has a passion for building the awareness of her readers to define who they really are so that they are able to build happier and healthier relationships in the future. Her respective blog therefore is a collection of her works so far and proves to be a great resource hub with interviews, videos, audios and posts of the most current and up to date issues that people experience when it comes to dating and relationships.

Visit the official Hot Alpha Female site @ http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com



What Defines a Successful Relationship - Its Not What You Think!


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Romantic Relationship Compatibility - Issues That Should Not Be Overlooked

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Relationship Compatibility... What is it? It is simply the ability of people to live together without problems. What type of problems? A problem free relationship is the one in harmony, and when or where there is harmony, there is peace. Problem, whether big or small, would arise when the level of compatibility is low, and the issues involved are mainly those compatibility issues that the couples should not have overlooked. True compatibility is not measured by the argument about the positioning of the T.V. Shelve or what the color of the window blind in the visitors' room should be.

If you ask average singles, what is it that they want in a partner, they would rather be telling you those physical qualities they would like to see in their Partner, like being tall, handsome, athletic, beautiful, and so on. But in reality, all these qualities are not necessarily issues that could not be overlooked. They are outward issues and have less important impact on compatibility......


Now, how do you know when and if you are compatible with the person you are dating? The short and simple answer is : You don't. At least, not in the beginning. Clearly, you're not a mind reader. You need a way to think through the issues that can make or mar a relationship. It is the presence (or lack) of compatibility in any relationship that causes the relationship to last or causes it to fail. Consider these questions: How will you get along with another person? What will the highs and lows, be in the relationship? Is it a match made in heaven or hell? Usually, Astrology plays a role in providing a guide to couples or people involved in a relationship. Astrologers, through the use of charts, compares the interrelationship of two separate charts through which they can reveal the ways and levels that the two people can relate with each other.

The romantic compatibility chart compares two people with regards to all the things that affect their ability to live in harmony with each other, from relationship personality and lifestyle to sexuality and passion. This is one of the most comprehensive ways available that will help you to understand how You should relate romantically with another person and how you both can better understand and appreciate each other. Actually, romantic compatibility relies more on couples or partners, and not just what astrology says.

In view of the above, there are some relationship compatibility issues that should not be overlooked, which include but not limited to the following:

1. FAMILY UPBRINGING (CLASS AND RELIGION)

This is a very important issue that should not be overlooked, as it may be difficult for an individual to change from the ways he/she grows with from childhood. It may be difficult for an individual from a very wealthy family background who has always been relating with people of the same class to now change over night and start seeing himself/herself relating with somebody(especially when you take the extended family into consideration) from the lower class of the society. Difference in religious belief should also be given serious consideration from beginning. If this is not properly considered and settled, the couple will always be viewing issues from different perspectives and this may lead to recurrent problems.

2. INTELLECTUAL COMPATIBILITY

There should be some reasonable level of compatibility here. A highly intelligent individual will always view issues from the angle of perfection and may not be able to tolerate , work or live with a mediocre.

3. SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY

There should be some manageable level of compatibility here, to avoid the likely result of sexual incompatibility, which includes cheating.

4. PERSONAL CHARACTER AND ATTITUDE

Laziness, Cleanliness, tolerance, friendship e.t.c.

5. INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE

Life Goals, Business and Enterprise, Spending Habit and Life Style

OTHER ISSUES

1. COLOR
2. ETHNICITY
3. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

The first two of the other issues above should be easy to manage except in a society where there is ethnic problem or racism. The last is normally a thing of the mind and should be easily managed depending on the individuals concerned.

In conclusion, if these issues have been discussed with open mind and you think you both find each other compatible and that you love each other for sure, the romantic compatibility will grow slowly between you and your partner. Astrology just guide and gives you some important details that might help you in choosing your potential partner in future and certain aspects that will help you enhance your personality and building up the romantic compatibility in your relationship.

Lastly, this issues could not be exhausted in a single article like this one, to have access to a more comprehensive discussion of the issues, visit http://www.romanticaccord.com.

Photo: http://jaque18.blogsome.com

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Romantic Relationship Compatibility - Issues That Should Not Be Overlooked


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Is Free Phone Chat a Good Love Measure?

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Is there a unit that can be used to measure love? Is two peoples' compatibility a sure way that they will lead a loving and caring life? Which is the best love calculator which can be used? What people actually use are love tests which might be either right or wrong. You might test your partner's love through unreasonable means. You might ask for something which is extra ordinarily expensive. The man might love the lady but her request might be unachievable. The lady might misinterpret this as inadequate love. The means most people use are dubious and leaves a lot to be desired. A free phone chat is used by many people especially women to tell whether a guy likes them. To know if a person places any value on an item you look at the what it has cost him. If he has sacrificed a lot towards a mobile chat with you, you are allowed to think he likes you.

Free phone chat can be misguiding because it comes with no cost. It would be wrong to use the long mobile chat to be the love calculator. With the marketing offers used by mobile phone companies free calls are the order of the day. A guy might be calling to chat with you out of idleness. People love free things and will utilize them maximum. Do not be fooled by any one if they call you for two hours. It is a good thing off course but be keen to observe the trend. If the person calls you only when there is an offer, you do not to take such people seriously. They might be just great jokers. Communication is important in a relationship because love can only be expressed through words and actions......


A mobile chat is important so do not dismiss it all the same. A relationship which does not have things like free phone chat and love poems and love messages is quite boring. It does not have the theme of love at all. Free mobile chat has brought many couples close together. Distance was previous a great barrier to relationship growth but that is history with the advent of technology. The use of phone technology has been used a lot a love calculator. I have heard s many ladies whining when their men do not send them messages or call them. If you are a guy who is not fond of using your phone you might be jilted with no explanation so you better drop the habit. Use your phone as the flirtation gadget and soon you will be the master in the dating field.

Love calculator is one of the facilities you will find in many top dating sites. It is one of the benefits of dating online. The dating games and many other sources of entertainment will entertain you once you get online. The results of a love calculator gives the reason to trust your online date and to possibly invest in the online dating relationship with no limitation whatsoever. Free phone chat kills the long distance between two people from two different continents who might be dating. A mobile chat helps you assume the proximity. Where there is communication of the heart the distance is not effective at all.

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Is Free Phone Chat a Good Love Measure?


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You Can't Buy Love - You Need a Plan

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Sex? Sorry, go read something else. This article is about love and how to make sure it's the real thing. First rule is don't wait until you are financially successful to find a mate. If you wait, what you surely will find is someone who is madly in love, not with you, darling, but with your American Express Platinum card.

Unless you understand this grim reality, and unless you develop a game plan to deal with this reality, your future involves becoming a rabbit, a sitting duck, a target. Not true, you say? OK, maybe you will be the exception. Good luck. But, remember this, when having ignored what you read here, you get involved, walk down the aisle, and after five years of paying the AMEX, you're kissing goodbye to half your assets, agreeing to every other weekend with the baby, and quarreling over the dog. I repeat. What you need is a plan. And acceptance of reality......


Do you really believe that if you took the crown off Henry VIII's head that anyone of the 8 wives would have agreed to marry him? The richer you get, the more people love you. Add in power, and it's all hopeless. The best recipe to follow is this. Once you are out of the office, away from business:

+ Dress down.
+ Eschew all outward shows of wealth. Drive a modest car. Rent or borrow one if you have a Porsche.
+ Don't wear the designer clothes, fancy watches.
+ Find special interest groups which are of interest to you.

That last one is critical. Places like casinos, race tracks, cruises to Biarritz, glitzy bars, ski slopes and beaches are hunting grounds. Stay away from them.

Concentrate on something beyond yourself, of help to others, the world around you, or of special interest. Like what, you ask? Well, like bird watching or building a well in a third world country. Gold diggers don't do bird watching. They will be at that beach at Biarritz looking for a bank account to pay for pave diamond earrings or the Porsche. And the sad thing is these predators don't care who knows it.

They are unabashed, brazen hunters, preying on rich and lonely people.Don't let it be you. Have someone fall in love with you, not your credit card. Make your plan. Seek out and join in on whatever it is that's interesting, humanitarian, inspirational, that can be shared with another human being.

It will be fun, rewarding, challenging, and might just allow you to find someone who loves you for yourself, rather than your bank account. Wouldn't that be great! And just as important, you might also find an interest in something special that will last a lifetime, for the both of you.

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You Can't Buy Love - You Need a Plan


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The 5 Love Languages in Brief

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Just how do you love that special someone in your life? It's not an easy one to answer is it? It seems most relationships are so difficult to get right on an ongoing basis, and why? It's because we don't always know the right 'language' to speak our love in -- and our best love isn't always received the way we intended it either.

The Love Languages[1] are fivefold. The basic theory is we never ascribe to only one language -- we're 'multilingual,' so to speak, and so is our partner. But, we do have preferences and it's as much an exercise in getting to know ourselves and our partner as it is to start practicing the techniques of the Love Languages.

What "languages" do you speak fluently? Here they are:......


1. Words of Affirmation

If you or your partner like to be commended and praised, and get a buzz out of motivating and encouraging others or each other, words of affirmation is a language you speak. You or your partner are probably quite susceptible to criticism though.

2. Quality Time

If you or your partner are 'people' people and enjoy spending time around others and feeling connected, then you're quality timers. You like to be involved in things, and being part of the team. You or your partner are inclined to become lonely without quality time with special people. You'd invest all your energy, and lots of time, in your relationships.

3. Receiving Gifts

You might even feel guilty personally, or think your partner selfish for speaking this love language proficiently. The truth is that wanting to receive (or give) gifts is as valid a language as the others. Presents and "freebies" are you or your partner's thing. Don't forget to give the gift of yourself though. You probably enjoy your birthday more than some other people who don't value gifts as much.

4. Acts of Service i.e. helping

Some get a huge kick out of helping or being helped. If you or your partner are into "helps" then actions will speak far louder than words. You'll also feel a sense of achievement and significance when you've completed work. Punctuality and diligence are important to you or your partner if this language is a preference.

5. Physical Touch

Like a hug? Those who speak the physical touch love language well can't survive without them. They enjoy close personal space. If this is you or your partner, you don't mind a bit of fun rough-housing, and the giving and receiving of massage is a favourite. You'd also especially appreciate eye contact in conversation, and smiles from those who greet you. Hugs, pats, and playful nudges are your lot.

Everyone speaks several languages, though in different combinations and in varying strengths. If you want some real fire and passion and intimacy in your relationship you'd do far worse than learn and apply the love languages of your partner -- customising your love to suit their needs. It doesn't get more special than that!

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

[1]Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of Love Languages. It features a set of books including Love Languages for singles, teens, couples, and men. This series is a first-class read for those passionate about their relationship(s).

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Author: Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.


The 5 Love Languages in Brief


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