Keeping Your Self-Respect With Women

Here's an email we recently got:

My girlfriend just broke up with me.

We were together for about a year and a half.

But most of that time was spent long distance.


Even though I hate long distancerelationships, I told her that I would dowhatever it takes to keep us together. And I did all I could to keep the relationship going.

I did all the little things that youmentioned in your book because I wanted herto fall in love with me and have romantic feelings for me so we would stay together fora long time.

What I can't understand is that it seems likethe better I treated her, the worse shetreated me, until she finally just broke up with me.

She even said to me one day, "Why do youtreat me so well? All I do is treat you like garbage.

"My question is, why is that? And how can I get her back?

Answer:

Wait, you WANT her back? OK, that's up to you.

There's no "sure thing" to get her back, buthaving her know that you aren't desperate forher is a certain first step.

To this end you must date other women.

Will that get her back? Perhaps. If she's done with you, she's done with you. But if she's just sick of a guy who doesn't mind being treated without respect, and you showsome self-respect, she might come back.

Probably not at this point, but it could happen. Dating other women and having sexwith other women must be part of this program.

When you are nice to a woman who is not nice to you, she loses respect for you and subsequently treats you worse in the next interaction.

If you accept that, she treats you worse the next time.

Taking a lot of crap is not the same as beingloving. We are not saying to be mean to women, but you have to treat yourself with respect, and you can start re-building that self-respect now.

A lot of guys are confused on this point, solet's repeat it: being loving to a woman andgiving up your self-respect are not the same thing.

So many men are afraid that no woman willever want them, so they give up their self-respect, and become unwilling to takecare of their own feelings or even to walk away from abuse.

Well, get this through your head: letting a woman walk all over you doesn't get you thegirl. Not only is it painful, it doesn'twork. So stop doing it!

In any situation with a woman where you thinkyour self-respect may be being compromised,ask yourself,

"What would the man I'm committed to being doin this situation?"

Also ask,

"What would I do in this situation if therewas an abundance of sex in my life?"

Then take the risk of losing the girl andacting with self-respect.

As they say, "living well is the bestrevenge." When a woman sees you treatingyourself with respect, she'll be more likelyto respect you, too.

Thanks to Ron Louis and David Copeland