“You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. You could melt all this stuff.” --Steve Martin in “My Blue Heaven”
Funny thing about today’s topic. The concept is one of the oldest, most overwrought stereotypes in the dating world. Yet, how many people (other than Vinnie) do you know who actually have met someone at the grocery store? Have you?
Would you like to?
As promised, today we’re going to talk all about how to turn the local supermarket into your dating playground…or at least potentially.
And it’s easier than you think.
No, this isn’t necessarily about “bumping carts” with someone “by accident”. Rest assured there are much better strategies in store than that (pun intended). So, then, let’s get on with it!
1) Inline Flirting
This is the simplest concept, yet completely overlooked by so many. Basically, if you want to meet someone, form your checkout plan with some strategy, will you? Simply get in line behind someone you want to meet, pick up the tabloid in front of you and make conversation about it. For some odd reason, this is like magic when performed by a guy. Women seem to be entranced by that sort of thing, and to have a guy actually start a conversation about it really is irresistible to a woman. And don’t completely rule out flirting with the one who is behind the register, either. One of life’s joys for me is when a woman at a cash register asks me for my credit card or (God help her) my phone number. Whichever it is, it’s “way too soon in the relationship for that” or “I don’t know you well enough”. Believe it or not, my fiancée Emily still deals with this sort of banter out of me regularly…and still giggles when it happens.
2) Have You Tried This?
Step One: Position yourself considering the same shelf full of items as someone you want to meet.
Step Two: Find a particularly interesting product.
Step Three: Ask, “Have you tried this?”
Step four: Expect a one-word answer.
Step Five: Respond by briefly describing some creative use you might have for it.
Step Six: Continue conversation with intrigued new friend.
Step Seven: Etc…
3) Veggie Tales
This is really a variation on the second bullet point above, but I want to make sure everyone understands how virtually foolproof it is to start a conversation. Hit the produce section. Find someone you want to meet. Ask either: 1) “What’s the best way to pick one of these?” or 2) “Do you have any secrets for cooking these?” People love being asked for expert advice. Men love doing so because, well, we’re men, and women will find it endearing that a guy is interested in cooking. Don’t act helpless here guys, just interested.
4) Bean Stalk
This one is my personal favorite, and the true “secret” of this article. At a grocery store you have a perfect scenario for meeting someone that is built in by design. Everyone goes up one aisle and down the other when they are there on serious business. If you notice someone you would like to meet is doing a week’s worth of shopping like you are, simply (and this is about as simple as it gets) start at the opposite end of the aisle as they are, but work the aisles in the same order. In doing so, you will pass this person every single time you go to the next aisle. Hopefully you get what I’m talking about here without me having to draw a diagram, because I’m lousy at that. Maybe you’ll completely ignore the person on the first aisle. On the second aisle, possibly some eye contact and a smile. On the third aisle (exactly), stop and say, “Look, I barely know you and you are already stalking me.” Another perfectly good option is to ask, “So are you going to follow me around all day or are you going to introduce yourself?” Be sure to laugh (or at least smile) after you say this so as to make it perfectly clear you are kidding. Either way, playing upon the fact that the other person is already interested in you is almost always effective. From there, make a friend.
5) Timing
I would plan my supermarket ventures in the early evening (after work) or on a Saturday in the late morning to early afternoon time frame. Consider the demographics involved and it’s easy to understand how the ratios of single people are going to be better then. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to meet people during the day on Tuesday, but the odds aren’t quite as good.
If you are a “night person”, try shopping at 2 am if you have a 24-hour supermarket. You might meet your soulmate. He or she is probably stocking shelves.
Here’s a quick note regarding what not to do. Ever notice that you don’t seem to get the choice of “paper or plastic” anymore? Just because all the bags are “plastic” doesn’t mean YOU have to be. One of the major scenarios to avoid is trying to be too, um…”overly helpful”. Guys please don’t chase women around the parking lot offering to “load their groceries” or even to return their cart for them. You might as well pour the milk you just bought onto some toast and contemplate how that relates to this situation.
That said, starting conversation at the supermarket really is incredibly easy. Once you try it, you’ll wonder what took you so long. All too often we limit ourselves by thinking that bars, clubs and other “designated” places are the only “appropriate” venues for meeting someone. The truth is you are more likely to meet a high quality human being and have a great conversation with him or her when you both are in your “natural habitat” and free of loud noises and obnoxious distractions (e.g. a hundred other people trying to “pick up” someone).
An informal poll I’ve taken suggests that most single adults would truly enjoy being approached with interest at the grocery store or similar shopping situation. So, how about giving it a try this week?
By all means, send me your “success stories”.Author: Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the books “Deserve What You Want” and “Cook For Your Date”, and hosts the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly” with his fiancée Emily. He may be reached at scot at xandycommunications.net . Visit http://www.dating-advice.us/ or http://www.datetoorder.com/ for more info and a free gift. The podcast series is available free of charge at http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly.
How To Meet Someone At The Grocery Store
While rumors continue to fly that Las Vegas wedding music is expensive if live, the number one contracting company in Las Vegas continues to dispel those rumors daily.
The owner of Las Vegas Wedding Music said simply, “Las Vegas wedding couples have many unique inexpensive options available to them, whether it is through our company or another.”
Chandler Judkins, owner, is himself a musician and strives to find more ways to integrate live music into Las Vegas weddings by making it cost less than a dj and more unique than anything Las Vegas brides and grooms have seen.
Las Vegas Wedding Music has 12 new unique package ideas for couples looking for that unique sound at their Las Vegas wedding.......
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 1: Flute with string trio or piano
Las Vegas string quartets are quite popular and will probably continue to be, however, Las Vegas Wedding Music has found a way to keep the beautiful soft sound that a wedding should have, but with a unique twist by adding a Las Vegas flautist.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 2: Flute, Cello, Oboe Trio
This trio is less expensive than a string quartet but continues to have the softness of the strings as well as the addition of a beautiful flute, famous for it’s rich sound.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 3: Flute, Harp Duo
This is a classic unique package that Las Vegas Wedding Music has requests for often. The two together make a unique option for guests to enjoy, but doesn’t stray too far from the norm.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 4: Saxophone Quartet
Don’t skip past this one until you’ve heard it for yourself. The gorgeous sound of this brass quartet blows many Las Vegas brides and grooms away.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 5: Brass Quartet
Two trumpets, tuba, and a trombone are the classic combinations for this option. Don’t let the trumpets fool you. They are played elegantly, with such a beautiful tone, it matches the saxophone easily.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 6: Solo Classical Guitar
A classical guitar for a Las Vegas wedding can be an amazing option for those looking for something unique, inexpensive, yet elegant.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 7: Piccolo Trumpet, Piano or Organ Duo
The piccolo trumpet is one of the most beautiful sounding instruments ever invented with a soprano tone. The piano or organ are the perfect instruments to combine with the piccolo trumpet to create something traditional and unique all at the same time.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 8: Solo Piano
Some may think that this option isn’t that unique, but many Las Vegas couples don’t choose this option because they look at it as too simple or overdone. This simply isn’t true. A solo pianist can be the most unique option available, and sometimes, it’s the more simple sound that makes a wedding even more elegant.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 9: Accordion
A Las Vegas wedding musician who plays the accordion is the perfect idea for an Italian wedding. It’s rustic sound makes guests feel as if they are actually in Italy.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 10: Bagpipes
Bagpipes is the traditional instrument from Scotland and the Las Vegas musician comes in the matching complete attire, kilt and all.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 11: Solo Harp
A Las Vegas solo harpist is perfect for background music, and doesn’t play over your guests talking.
Las Vegas Wedding Music Package 12: Singing Harpist
A singing harpist is the perfect touch for a perfect Las Vegas wedding. It is unique and none of your guests will expect to enter heaven when they enter your wedding venue.
Las Vegas Wedding Music can work with nearly any budget and their packages start as low as $250.Author: Renae Judkins earned her journalism degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.Find Las Vegas wedding music at http://www.lvweddingmusic.com
Las Vegas Wedding Music - 12 Unique, Inexpensive Options
It is an experience that most people would remember: their first French kiss. Some people would say it was a great experience while some would prefer not to mention it. But, we all know that French kissing is a very delicate and sensual experience.
Research has said that women's lips are one of their erogenous zone, so it's important for men to leave a lasting impression with women. And if you French kiss her like no one else, you'll most likely to kiss something else of her next.
The skill of kissing does not simply consist of knowing how to move your tongue inside a woman's mouth without hitting her tonsils. It involves the entire mouth - the lips, tongue, teeth, and the rest of the body.
Here are some basics:......
1) Give the lady a hand.
Position your hands on her body while kissing her. Hold her face firmly but gently as you slip your tongue inside her mouth and suck on her lips. This will definitely make her toes curl.
Also, try to gently pull her hair back from the back or slightly squeezing the part of her body that is located right under her breasts (her ribs). This could make for some very enticing kissing sessions.
2) Pay attention to the way she kiss.
People often give out what they would like to receive, so pay attention to the way she kisses you. That could be an indication of the way she wants you to kiss her. Does she bite on your lips or try to gently suck all the saliva off your tongue? Reciprocate by doing the same. She will love you for it.
3) Tell her what you like.
Does your loved one kiss you like she's trying to suck the life out of your body? Does she kiss too fast, too slow, or without using her tongue? Try not to tell her what you don't like, but rather what you do like. That way you won't hurt her feelings.
4) Control her mouth.
The next time you kiss her, hold her face with your hands tenderly and kiss her the way you would like to be kissed. If she is not turn on by this, then your sensual tongue will surely do the trick.
5) Make it long-lasting.
Women loved long, slow, juicy, and enticing kisses. Your partner will definitely feel your passion through one of those prolonged tender kissing moments. Just like in the movies, kiss her hard and deep.
Now that you've discovered the basics of kissing, let's move on to some ways to make her think and want to kiss you all the time, hopefully. Here are some simple tips that can make you the ultimate Casanova:
1) Suck on her tongue.
Turn your mouth into a soft suctioning device on her tongue. Suck on her tongue mimicking the way you would suck on a woman's clitoris.
2) Lick her lips with your tongue.
Lick on her upper and lower lips in a slow, ticklish fashion. Once you have lubricated them adequately with your saliva, move your lips around her lips and let your saliva wet both of your mouths.
3) Suck on her lips.
If licking her lips quickly makes her wanting more, then begin sucking on her lips. Do it one at a time as no one wants to feel as though they've stuck their mouth inside a vacuum. Be careful when you suck on her lips; don't get too rough or she will get turn off and pushes you off. You would not want that to happen, do you?
4) Move beyond her mouth.
Don't be shy. You would not want to confine yourself to kissing just her lips. There's a whole face and body to explore. Go ahead and French kiss her chin, her neck and her breasts? Kiss her eyes, behind her ears or her wrists. Be bold and try something different. You'd be surprised at the results that a little creativity can produced.
If you've never been complimented on your kissing techniques before, now you'll know the basics of being a professional kisser. A quick way to tell if she enjoyed the experience: when you kiss her and then pull back, her eyes stay closed for just a moment longer. This usually means that she thoroughly enjoyed your kiss and there's a good chance that you could take it a step further. Just remember that everything starts with a kiss.Author: Joshua Wong works as an Accounts Executive and wants to promote awareness to good music and music appreciation. He's also into the concept of internet marketing. Visit http://www.e4l.biz/money.htm?wcw1908
How To French Kiss A Woman
Don’t fall in love with a picture on a website. This may sound obvious, but I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words, “But she doesn’t look anything like the girl I saw in the picture,” after he met her in real life.
One story sticks in my mind in particular. This gentleman had ten days in Moscow on a tour. He went to three socials in three days where he had the opportunity to meet about six hundred to one thousand women.
He kept saying over and over, “They don’t hold a candle to the woman I have been corresponding with for nearly a year.” After the socials, he had another six days in Moscow.
He decided to board an overnight train to a city five hundred miles east to meet the woman he had corresponded with for nearly a year.
He returned four days later. When he got back, he was extremely bitter. In his words, she had not turned out to be nearly as attractive as her picture on the website. He spent two days with her “so I didn’t hurt her feelings,” before making his retreat......
In my mind, there are two lessons to be learned her. First, don’t fall in love with a picture. The women I met, whose pictures I had first seen on a website, appeared similar in real life to their pictures. Some of them were better looking in real life than their pictures on the internet and some of them, let us say, were not as attractive in person as their glamour photos.
Some people take good pictures and some of them don’t. Look at as many pictures of each potential prospect as you can. Ask them to send some recent photos to you. However, don’t place all your bets on one photo.
People change. They gain weight. They get older. Some women send in pictures of themselves five or ten years ago. Some men do that too.
I had professional photographs taken of myself that I sent to women I was seeking a relationship with. One woman commented when we finally met that I didn’t look like anything like my picture even though it was taken only six months previously.
The other lesson from the story above is that when you are on a tour you only have so much time that you are there. You need to make the best use of your time.
Going on a four day boondoggle is an incredible waste of time, when time is limited, especially when you are killing extra time with her after you’ve made the decision that its not working out “just so you don’t hurt her feelings.” When you spend two days with her and don’t call her back, you definitely are going to hurt her feelings.
If things aren’t working out between you and a woman, the best thing you can do for the both of you is to cut things short. Save both yourself and her some time. It doesn’t benefit anyone to spend time with her when things aren’t going to go anywhere.Author: John Kunkle has been married to a Russian women for over five years. He has travelled the path from finding her, to traveling to Russia, to bring his wife to America, and adjusting to married life. He will show you step by step how to do this yourself. Visit his site at http://www.russian-luv.com/picture.html
Don’t Fall in Love with a Picture
MySpace.com is a powerful web site which helps people connect with others who have similar interests in topics such as music, film, geographic location, and relationships.
This type of site is known as a social networking web site. There are other similar sites that have been popular in the past such as Friendster and Classmates.com, but MySpace.com has definitely become the leader in social networking sites, boasting a member list of over 100,000,000 people as of August 6, 2006. According to the owner of MySpace.com, located in NewsCorp of Hollywood California, it is growing at a rate of 500,000 new members every week.
Everyone from small town bands and rap artists to large film makers are using MySpace.com to connect with its large database of members and to provide more information about Pop culture.
MySpace has received some criticisms regarding the age of its users. Teenagers as young as 14 can register for a Myspace account. Although their profiles are automatically private, this has been the source of some controversy about allowing users this young to interact with others on the web.
Myspace does have other restrictions for users under the age of 18, but there are still possibilities that make many concerned parents and organizations uncomfortable.
How Does it Work
Myspace allows you to create an account using some basic information such as name and email address. You are not required to give up any personal information.
Once you have an account you can network with the millions of other members who have Myspace accounts. You can also search for people who have similar interests and then interact with them using special Myspace features such as blogs, chat and the add a friend to your page feature.......
How to Signup
To singup for a MySpace.com account, just go to the signup link on their home page or visit Myspace.com for the link.
Once you signup, you can log into your account and build a web page using a simple menu and a step by step process. You can easily change the look and feel to reflect your profile using graphics from sites that offer free MySpace.com layouts.
You can also add photos, music, and videos to your profile that will attract others who are interested in the same things, which makes it ideal for up and coming bands and artists.
Finding Groups, Friends, and Relationships
You can also search the network using browse, keyword searches or by groups. Once you start to find people you want to meet, you can invite them to your network. In some cases, their friends see you and may also invite you to their network. Your network of friends can grow literally by being invited to one person’s network.
Why is it so Popular
As more and more people go online, more people are seeking to meet others with the same interests. Web site networks that facilitate this type of communication have historically done very well on the Internet.
It is very easy to open a Myspace.com account and find tons of people and groups who have all of the latest news on various topics, especially music and film, which are staples of pop culture.
It is also free to join MySpace.com, which makes it even more attractive to the general public and gives it the power to easily compete with fee based interest and relationship sites that have been around for years.
As the online community gets larger, more people are looking for easy ways to connect with others without having to pay a lot of money or without having to spend hours of time searching different web sites. As a result, MySpace has become the popular place of choice to instantly connect with other individuals and groups of people.Author: Rod Davis is a web researcher who writes weekly articles on Popular Online Media and Unique Information found on the web. You can learn more about popular online media at http://110thstreet.com where you can get interesting articles, guides and information
Why MySpace.com is So Popular for Connecting with People
Who teaches men to be effective lovers? Until now, no one. The prevailing word in that question is “effective.” Almost any woman can compile a list of ineffective teachers. Most women that I have interviewed report that their male partner has few clues about how to be a consistently effective lover.
Every man has teachers. His own “urge to merge” provides the drive. Then he looks around for guidance in how to use that phallic power. Other boys or men will share their stories of sexual prowess. The movies and TV provide sexual images, portraying what appear to be well-received offers and action leading to sexual intercourse. Most young men (of any age) find their way to pornography. Pictures and videos provide models for sexual intercourse.
We all recognize the scene. First of all, the woman is obviously ready, willing and able. Most times a passionate kiss begins the encounter. She responds eagerly and passionately to his kiss and embrace. Both begin almost immediately to rip off each other’s clothing, and find an acceptable space for the man to lie on top of her. We may see a few seconds of his passionate caressing of her breasts and nipples, and then, almost immediately he is inside of her and she is moaning in ecstasy. The next scene usually shows one of them leaving the bed, either soon thereafter or early the next morning. End of one more ineffective lesson.
In spite of the prevalence of public sexual imagery, our culture remains sex-phobic and uneducated. Most women have little permission to explore the sensual riches of their own bodies or to experience the fullness of their own sexual passions. Therefore, most women are unprepared to teach their male lovers what to do. The almost mythic story of the older woman who takes the young male and teaches him the secrets of sexual intercourse remains fascinating and always a bit frowned upon.
Relationships are usually fragile. Sexual incompatibility, which adds to relationship tensions, frequently has more to do with ignorance than with poor intention. The time has come to move beyond cultural taboos to sensitive, relationship-affirming sexual education for women and for men.Author: Kaye Wray, Ph.D., has been a teacher and researcher for over 35 years. As a bisexual woman, she has spent most of her life paying attention to women’s sensuality and sexual responses. Acquiring information both from the perspective of how a woman receives optimum sexual pleasure and of how to provide optimum sexual pleasure to a woman, she is now sharing that information with couples who are serious about improving their relationships, with women who want to claim the fullness of their own sexual passions, and with men who want to be better lovers. For more information on intimacy education, go to http://www.lovingwomenwell.com
Who Teaches Men How to Be Effective Lovers?
I'm not listening. I'm acting like I am, I'm standing here. But my daughter's face may as well be on a movie screen. It flickers in front of me.
There's food on the stove. There's a half-written article on the computer. My vitamins are waving to me from the kitchen counter. I'm all over the place. Every place but here.
And she can tell. My daughter has a nose for who's really there and who's not. But she's still talking, and so I think, between the scattered words and phrases "and then he ..." that I actually hear, I'm listening, I'm listening, she believes I'm listening!
Then she stops, looks at me. I've been found out. she breathes. I breathe. She goes on. I have a second chance.
I know what to do. I unfold my arms from in front of my body. Start a CoachRori Body Dialogue - but wait. This isn't the time for a Body Dialogue. This isn't about me. It's about her. Her experience. Nothing to do with me.
The stove, the computer, the vitamins are all calling, and still the only thing to do is...listen. I throw myself Over There, to where she is. I move myself away from myself, and focus on her nose, her eyes, her words. I don't remember anything more except that she was smiling, and pretty thrilled and breathless about her dream, what with the chase, the roller coaster and the mistaken identities, and that I wasn't even there.
When there's someone else talking, you can bypass your brain and get instantly present by going to Level 2 Listening. Here's how it works:
Level 1 Listening is It's all about me. Level 2 is It's all about you. Listening at Level 3 is a bit esoteric - It's all about everything. Listening to someone and then feeling heard by them is an unbelievable experience – and it's very rare. Most of us are at Level 1 all the time. Most of the time, we aren't really listening, we're thinking about ourselves – what we're going to say next, what we think about the other person, that our pants are too tight, we have a pimple on our chin, anything but the person right in front of us.
When we're in a conversation with someone, and we're thinking about how what that person is saying relates to us, we're at Level 1. I may be sitting or standing here talking with you, but actually I'm all in my own head about me. Oh, that happened to me too! Or I wonder if he likes my hair or I wonder if he'll ask me out. There is nothing wrong with Level 1 Listening – in other words, being all about ourselves – except that it limits our ability to really relate to others.
Level 2 Listening is the complete reverse of Level 1. Imagine how, when you're utterly in love with someone, all you can see is their face, all you can hear is their voice, all you can smell is their breath and cologne. Their words and the feelings they express are, in that moment, the most important things in the world to you. In fact, the only things in the world.
When you listen to a man, really Listen at Level 2, you will change the moment, the interaction, the entire relationship. And as a result, he will change – almost overnight.
A man you think you're not attracted to might suddenly open up and become really attractive to you once you find out about him. To do this, just relax. Relax completely and be over there, with him. Let yourself go as though you no longer exist.
Your thoughts are just passing through – you're over there. You don't have to talk, or smile, or do anything.
Just listen.
Here's how to practice Level 2 Listening right now. In the Have the Relationship You Want workshops, we work in partners. One person talks about themselves - what's on their mind, what they did today, anything. The other person listens at Level 2. The talking person's only job is to focus on them self, and the listening person's only job is to focus on the talking person.
I say, Listeners, all you have to do is listen. Get comfortable. It doesn't matter if you're leaning forward or leaning back. Look at your partner. Look at their face, their eyes. Try to stay focused on their words. Really give yourself over to them completely. You are at Level 2 Listening, which is all about them – it's over there.
If you notice your mind wandering back to – Oh, that happened to me too, or Yeah, I agree – which is Level 1 – shift back to them. When you're really at Level 2, you'll be completely immersed over there. Okay – go.
If you have a friend to work with, practice on each other. If you are working alone, let's do the exercise differently:
Put yourself in front of a mirror. Imagine that you, in the mirror, are going to hang on every word you, in front of the mirror, say. Your mirror image will follow wherever your thoughts go, giving you total attention. Go ahead and talk about your day. Tell your image everything that happened to you today – the emotion of it, the detail of it, what was important about it. Laugh, cry, say whatever comes to mind. Pay little or no attention to your mirror image.
Now, when you finish up, think about how it felt to completely unload your mind and heart while your mirror image did nothing but listen. She did not interject, offer advice, even go uh-huh. If you imagine that you in the mirror were listening intently and compassionately, you may feel as heard, as light and unburdened as you would practicing with a partner. Now, in order to reverse it, we'll do without words altogether.
Look at yourself in the mirror, and become completely absorbed in your image's eyes, hair, nose, mouth, smile – with this important agreement: You must pretend that this mirror image is someone else. In this way, you can look at the mirror image's hair and notice that it has gray in it, or curl, or a highlight, without thinking about it. In other words, as soon as you say to yourself Oh, I have to color my roots, you've moved back to Level 1 Listening.
Your job is to observe with attention and compassion the qualities of the face in front of you, and to commune instinctively with the emotions conveyed by the face and the person in front of you. You are to forget that the image in the mirror is you.
Try this for a few minutes and see what it feels like. It may feel like a mental vacation. A moment to observe and feel without thinking. Without bringing your observations back to yourself.
Now take what you've experienced and practice it out in the world.
I encourage you to practice, practice, practice. Practice with the busboy, the clerk, your blind date, your boyfriend or your husband, your children, your friends, your relatives, your pet, the birds outside, and total strangers. Practice and notice when you go back to Level 1. The more you do it, the more natural it will become to listen at Level 2.
Once thing I do remember, and try not to forget, is my daughter stopping abruptly at the end of her dream-telling and hugging me before she danced off, back to her room, back to her computer, back to her books and her music, back to her life.Author: In her workshops, classes, private coaching, radio and TV shows and new book, Have the Relationship You Want, relationship coach Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her now-glorious, decades long marriage around. Visit http://www.CoachRori.com to get her free Mantra for Connecting with Men, the CoachRori e-zine, and to see how Rori can help you get the love and romance you want
Relationship Help For Women
Is it really any wonder that we're in so much trouble as a society when it comes to marriage and relationships when you look around at the various media portrayals of what an ideal, healthy relationship might look like. Let's start with a popular ballad about the expectations you might have of your soul mate:
"I don't care who you are, where you're from
Or what you did, as long as you love me."
What a beauty! Talk about co-dependent low self-esteem as the end goal.
Then there's the big line from the movie Jerry McGuire:
"You complete me."
What is that? Are we really walking around as pieces of a soul mate jigsaw puzzle, waiting to find our missing piece in the form of another person or be doomed to a life with our incomplete self? I don't think so.
Now before I go any further, the point here is not to destroy your enjoyment of popular songs (that I can admit to humming along with) or movies (that I actually enjoyed). Rather, I want you to put them into some much needed perspective.
They're fictional, these stories didn't happen, they're not true. And it's a good thing too!
Go back to the song's lyrics for a moment and read them again and imagine what that relationship might look like. And this time don't sing the lyrics, just read them as a statement.
I love this exercise, because when you take the message out of the context it was presented to you, well, it's not quite so romantic is it?............
Unfortunately, as a society we're taking this form of subconscious relationship advice in by the truckload. We don't examine the actual message because we're too swept up in the emotions they trigger. And what's the end result? We have a society where the popular belief is that fairytale can come true.
I'm sorry, but the fact that it is theoretically possible for a street prostitute to end up with a handsome billionaire as in Pretty Woman, is not a good reason to wait around for your own knight in shining armor to come riding into town on a white horse. Likewise, it's very doubtful that a delightful, princess of a woman is going to magically see through your outwardly destructive behavior, to the man for all seasons that lies within.
And then there's the doozie that we've all fallen for in one relationship or another, that "love" will conquer all. The Beatles lied when they told us "All You Need is Love", because they left out all of the other components that you need in order to find, and keep your true soul mate.
You're going to need to be very, very clear on exactly the type of person you want in your life, the kind of values they would have (as well as clearly knowing your own values).
You'll need to have a healthy and developed sense of respect, for yourself first, and then for the person you're inviting into your life.
You'll need to master the art of direct, truthful and sincere communication and be prepared to hold yourself accountable for using it.
You'll also need trust. Trust in you, and trust in your partner with a clear understanding of your mutual agreements and the consequences for breaking them.
And of course you'll need to learn the techniques necessary to apply all of these components with your partner.
We claim to all want rich, loving relationships, yet it's been my experience that people are mostly treating their relationship like it were a game of chance. Think of it like this; finding your true soul mate and creating your ideal relationship is the equivalent of playing a round of golf with someone and each of you shooting par on every hole ... does it make sense to try to do this without taking lessons or instruction from someone who has played to that level before?
Of course not.
You don't get lucky or unlucky in love. You either get the necessary knowledge, and through its application create what might look like "luck" to an outsider, or you continue to enter into relationships hoping that the next one will be "the one" or that the one you're in currently will spontaneously evolve into the relationship of your dreams.
Your soul mate is out there, you just need to decide how important it is that you find them.Author: Dr. Dõv Baron has presented programs all over the world since 1984, and taught literally thousands of people how to find and keep their soul mate. For more free relationship tips and advice, go here now: http://www.QuantumSoulMates.com
Valentine's Day: Finding Your Soul Mate
In most traditional relationships, women expect their man to give them gifts of jewelry, and the men do so. Today, more women are paying special attention to giving jewelry to their men than ever before.
Giving jewelry to your spouse or romantic partner has always been a popular gift. Often holidays like Christmas, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day prompt men to run to the jewelry store for something shiny and expensive. Imagine how much more valued this gift would be if given without a major holiday attached to it. Why not give your partner jewelry for no particular reason, other than love?
Diamonds are always popular when it comes to choosing jewelry, other gemstones or simply silver and gold can be just as popular. You probably know that each month has a gemstone that represents it, and those gemstones each have a symbolic meaning. If you really want to blow your partner away, select your jewelry for it’s significance to a particular month (birthday or anniversary for example) or for another more personal meaning.
Here’s a brief look at the gemstone for each month and their meanings.
January – garnet, represents faith and stability and is available in many colors, except blue
February – amethyst, represents sincerity and happiness and is royal purple in color
March – aquamarine, represents hope and bravery and is a blue-green or sea-green color
April – diamond, representing joy and innocence
May – emerald, represents peace and tranquility and is always green
June – pearl, standing for wisdom and pureness
July – ruby, represents passion and nobility and is always a beautiful red
August – peridot, stands for patience and has a yellowish-green color
September – sapphire, represents honesty and hope and is available in a variety of shades of blue
October – opal or tourmaline, represents confidence and sweet love................
November – topaz or citrine, stands for friendship and faithfulness and both are brown through orange or yellow
December – turquoise, represents understanding and success. In 2002, the AGTA added Tanzanite as another December birthstone
As with any gift from the heart, presentation can count nearly as much as the gift. How would you feel if your beloved just tossed you the diamond ring and said “Gotcha something?” Now, what if they went to some amount of effort to present it to you? There movies and personal stories everywhere about how people have presented a special piece of jewelry to their spouse. Believe it or not, food is one of the most popular methods! People tend to place rings in champagne or other clear beverages or bake it into their special person’s favorite pie or cake. What is often left out of these stories is the precautions you need to take. Make sure your loved one doesn’t actually eat your gift, or worse, choke on it. Next, check with your jeweler about any physical precautions. Champagne will actually dissolve pearls and if you baked a ruby it may crack!
Giving the gift of a lifetime is a significant investment, and you shouldn’t enter into it lightly. Do your research, make sure you know what you’re buying, and how to make a good decision. You can visit the website for the Jewelry Information Center at www.jic.org for free advice on a variety of jewelry related topics.Author: Jeff Rose has published an eBook on romance in a marriage entitled 'The Magic Marriage.' Get a free romance ecourse here: http://www.magicmarriage.com/tips.htm
Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend
