What do you do when you just went through a bitter divorce and now you find yourself on the single scene once again??
Where do you start?
How do you meet women again?
Do you know how to properly approach beautiful women? Sometimes, it appears that the times have drastically changed since you were last single. How do you begin anew?
In my line of work, I get all sorts of clients and inevitably some of the men are divorced guys looking to work the single scenes, except they have no idea where to begin. It's been a quite a while since they hit the bar scene with the fellas and approached girls and now, what perhaps used to be second nature, feels a bit foreign.
It seems as if the times have changed so much. Perhaps they never great at attracting women and they feel like they lucked out with that one girl they married, and now she is gone. Oh, what will they do now??
Now, I have to be honest with you. I have never been divorced. Then again, that may be because I have never been married either. My job is to help guys from all walks of life meet women, build attraction, and have a successful dating life. My job is to help men attract women. Whether you plan to get married again or not is none of my business.
If you have been out of the scene for a while, you need to become acclimated into the single scene once again.
Now, I am going to lay out a specific 10 Step program to enable you to effectively join the single scene again and start attracting more women.
***STEP 1- Attitude readjustment***
It all starts with your ATTITUDE. This is the first step!
You have to make a decision. I can give you all sorts of dating advice but it won't do you any good until you decide that you want to get this part of your life handled.
So you have a choice: You can either sit there, bitch and complain about how the times have changed, about how it's been so long since you have done the single thing, and what a shame it is, OR you can make a decision NOW to attract a great woman (women) in your life. If you are reading through this article, perhaps you have already made this decision!
This is a time to celebrate your freedom! Chances are if you were married for 15 or 20 years, you were institutionalized, sort of like the character of "Brooks" from the classic movie "The Shawshank Redemption." If you've seen the movie, you know exactly what I am talking about. "Brooks" from Shawshank wanted to choose staying in a sadistic and brutal prison rather than celebrate a freedom that came with uncertainty.
When you were married, things made sense even if the circumstances were atrocious. Now, things suddenly do not make sense and this is a scary feeling.
You must realize that this is a temporary state, and it will pass. You're not the first man to become divorced, nor are you the last.
In fact 60% of marriages end up in a divorce in some parts of the country so you're in pretty good company.
Adjust your attitude. Start to realize that you have just opened the door to a world of new possibilities. Celebrate your new found freedom and the door that has just been opened to new possibilities.
***STEP 2- Burn your old clothes. Time for a makeover***
Look, I know it's possible that you were already a sharp dresser. Anything is possible!! We live in a country that lets Geraldo on TV! In my experience, however, most men have no clue how to dress properly and when it comes to married men, forget about it.
In my experience, most married men I meet, have settled into a comfort zone where the sweatshirt over plain pants look has become their calling card. If you are back on the single scene, it'd help if you started to once again take care of your appearance. It's time to a grab a few new outfits, a pair of new shoes, and do some grooming.
I understand how basic this sounds but you may be astounded as to how many guys I come across who fail their basic grooming. Just make sure your hair (don't care if it's completely shaved or in a pompadour,) your beard/goatee, looks like it's been cared for.
Good Breath is on top of this list. The problem is most people including many of your buddies won't tell you that you have bad breath. They'll just run away. Our first step is to make certain that we are taking care of the basics.
Change the way you dress, start grooming, and look presentable. Look like you're in demand and that you know it!
***STEP 3- Start Approaching***
Make an effort to approach more women and grow your social circle. You have to start socializing more with women as well as more men. Most married couples hang out with other married couples, talk about babies, fight over bills, and watch reruns of Law & Order.
It's needless to say that regardless of the conversational topics, this particular social circle isn't going to introduce you to as many single women as you'd like to meet. Hence, it'd be very wise to start creating new social circles that include single people, or at the very least, people in relationships who are still in touch with the single world.
You must realize that this takes some effort on your part. You ought to start initiating conversations with more women everywhere you go. Most people immediately think of going to bars and clubs. Depending on your age, taste, likes and dislikes, you may not be a bar/club guy. That's certainly understandable.
You can still make an effort to approach women during your daily activities which could range from supermarket and coffee-shops to various classes, clubs, and the gym.
You also may want to give online personals a try. I'd only advise you to utilize the personals as a supplemental means to meet women, not as your only means to meet new women.
***STEP 4- Start exercising again***
I am being a bit presumptuous here. If you're doing it already, that's fantastic. Most married guys start growing horizontally. Exercise will make you FEEL better physically, emotionally, and mentally. It will also boost your self-confidence which is of the utmost importance! Plus if you join a gym, you will meet new people, females as well as males. (Not to mention that it will improve your physical appearance.)
This is not a ploy to pick up women. You'll feel better because of it!
***STEP 5- Establishing New networks***
Look to create a network of single friends who really enjoy going out and meeting women. Nothing would probably encourage you more to actually enjoy going out and meeting women more than surrounding yourself with a few guys who like to have a good time and socialize.
Hanging with introverts who want to sit home and maybe play a card game or two is not going to help you meet more women. If you are going to hang with guys like that, then make sure you balance it with hanging with a few animals who want to hit the outdoor life.
OK, we are half way there. Part 2 of this article covers the next 5 steps that will enable you to attract desirable women. Please continue to the next section.
Author: Cameron Teone conducts dating workshops and seminars all around the country. He specializes in teaching men how to date and attract desirable women. You can learn more at, http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
Western-themed weddings are getting more and more popular. With invitations in the shape of cowboy boots, cowboy wedding favors, and fun costumers for all, a western wedding offers you the chance to enjoy your special day without having to take it too seriously. Brides might appear in Old West style gowns, with the groom dressed as a cowboy or sheriff.
Many people like to decorate their western style wedding appropriately. This might mean decorating a pickup truck with Just Married signs, instead of a new car, using gingham or calico tablecloths, and serving appetizers on tables made from bales of hay. Raffia wraps can give a rustic air to anything that might need a ribbon ordinarily. Have the bride and bridesmaids carry wildflowers instead of roses. Some people even have the happy couple arrive at the ceremony on horseback!
Catering your western wedding with a family style meal will add to the atmosphere. Encourage the attendees to dress in costume to complete the feeling of getting married in the Old West. You can even really get into the spirit by having a square dance caller and appropriate dancing at the reception. Consider holding the ceremony some place unusual as well. An old adobe church or other interestingly western building can be the finishing detail in your wedding. If that's not possible, be sure to choose the right place to hold the reception!
Consider themed favors too. Popular options include little potted cacti, candles, charms, and soaps shaped like cowboy hats or boots, and shaped containers, like tin pails, fulled with candy or food. Hot sauce with custom labels, miniature horseshoes, and bandannas also all make great favors. Some couples give out engraved belt buckles. There are limitless options for favors when it comes to a western style wedding.
There's no end to the interesting and creative options you can explore with a western style wedding. Enjoy the opportunity to cut loose and express yourself with a unique themed wedding that reflects your personal style and allows everyone to have a lot of fun. It's no wonder that western themed weddings are becoming so popular.
Author: Joe Bella loves themed weddings. Check out his latest western style tips: http://www.westernweddinginfo.com Western Wedding.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
Seduction is a question of subtle strategy with one ultimate goal - to have sex with someone.
The desire for sex is powerful; for some it can be as powerful as the need to eat and breath. Seduction is the road we take to achieve sexual satisfaction.
While the ultimate goal is to have sex, there are lots of smaller goals that need to be reached along the road to the sexual surrender of our chosen partner.
For some, the thrill of seduction lies in the chase rather than the conquest. The excitement of wanting and pursuing someone can give a sense of satisfaction in itself. For others, the electric thrill comes from knowing that another person's sexual attentions are focused on them. Those who thoroughly enjoy the chase are generally people with plenty of self-confidence and their confidence increases the likelihood of success.
Those who are less confident usually find seduction far more difficult. How can you convince a member of the opposite sex to fancy you if you see yourself as being unattractive?
It's important that you choose the right person to seduce. This is more a matter of instinct than anything else but most of us endeavor to make conversation, or at least some eye contact, with a potential partner who we consider to be our equal on the scale of physical appeal.
Once you've sought out your 'prey' you need to decide whether the time and/or situation is right for seduction. If the object of your passion is somebody you see on a regular basis, the time/place being wrong may very well add to the thrill. If you're getting the right feedback, the knowledge that the other person is interested but that you can't do anything about it just yet can increase the feelings of arousal and excitement.
But how do you know that he's interested? The best clues come from reading body language. Non-verbal signals are far better indicators of how a person feels about you than anything they may actually say verbally. Those with an open posture are usually more available than those who stand with their arms crossed. The eyes are the biggest give-away when it comes to seduction. If he returns your gaze, and especially if he holds eye contact with you longer than is usually acceptable, then the chances are you're on to a winner. Trust your instincts. You'll 'feel' whether he's interested or not. Small gestures and tone of voice tell us a lot about how the other person feels about us.
Flirt. Did I really need to mention that? Flirting is used in two ways. We flirt with others to remind our partner that we still need to be wooed by him, but when used for seduction, it's a means of keeping the other person interested and aroused as well as letting them know that they are unlikely to be rejected. Men, who are generally the pursuers, are highly dependent on women's signals to reassure them that they are 'onto something'. Playing hard-to-get isn't particularly attractive to men unless you're sending out enough signals to assure him that it really is just a game and that you are indeed 'gettable'. Let him know that the chase will most likely be worth it in the end.
Once you've made contact with him, you'll need to let him know where the encounter is likely to be heading. People have very different ideas of what sex should be so it's important that you both know that you're looking for the same things. This doesn't mean that you should just blurt out "I'm a dominatrix, how d'ya fancy being whipped?" or anything else quite as obvious. You can if you really must, and you never know, it might just work, but in general the subtle approach is more likely to get you what you want. Men generally take the lead in this area, asking questions and trying to access whether you'd make a satisfactory sex partner. Follow his lead. The questions probably won't be direct (depending upon the man), but they will be based around 'self-disclosure'. He tells you some, you tell him some. People typically discuss sex in a light-hearted, abstract manner when accessing a potential partner, testing each other in a non-committal way.
Now that you're speaking you'll need to sustain his interest. Two people who've found each other through physical attraction may not have the right chemistry to move along the road of seduction once mouths have been opened. Look for signs of acceptance or rejection. If you pick up on any signs of rejection, don't waste your time on something that is very unlikely to happen, no matter how much you fancy him. There are plenty more available males about just waiting to be seduced.
If you're still doing fine and the signals are good, it's time to move onto the final yielding. One of you must surrender. In all probability it will be you, because even if you initialized the seduction, he will probably have taken over the role of pursuer somewhere along the line. The roles of 'hunter' and 'prey' have been decided through thousands of years of evolution, and usually fall naturally into place. Surrender and enjoy!
Author: Sharon grew up in East London but moved to Norway at the age of 19, returning to England in 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and two of her three children. Besides writing, she is currently studying Social Science with The Open University, runs a web site where women in the UK can meet other women for platonic friendship (www.friendsyourway.co.uk), potters in her garden, knits and reads everything she comes over.
s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
The overall reason people stay in relationships that just aren't working is because of fear of being alone. Many people are basically considered "walking dead" when it comes to being in a relationship that has no merit of making it. Gabby Love offers many key warning signs that a relationship is on the brink of failure and it's time to move on.
A. Fighting for no reason at all. When you start fighting over petty points that seem to blow out of proportion, i.e. leaving the toilet seat up is a favorite. The man being used to living his whole life on his own all of a sudden is considered inconsiderate and uncaring by the woman if the toilet seat is left up.
B. Showing little or no affection. It's funny how this is such a gray area that can break up a relationship because it's usually determined by the disgruntled party. What is really too much or too little?
C. The dreaded friends of the disgruntled party take center stage. Remember how excited you were when you first met and that special person was considered your true "soul mate" ? Now the meeting of disgruntled friends opinion appears center stage for discussion in your relationship.
D. If there was sexual involvement in the relationship it basically has been stopped or so mundane that you can't wait until you are through. To me this is the real sign it's over. Sex should be considered 90% mental and 10% physical.
E. Conversation in a relationship has become null and void. Remember the long hours on the phone and in person talking about everything? Now you can barely say one word to each other.
F. Finding your focus shifted to others instead of the one you are with. Remember sitting at a table and gazing into each others eyes when you first started dating? Now you look elsewhere instead of with the one you are with.
G. Finding excuses to not be together alone is becoming more evident. One of the favorite cop outs is work. Always working late becomes a popular tool because the other party can say they are too tired to get together.
H. Vacations are spent apart. Let's not forget the movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." Vacations apart are meant as a reason to explore new potential recruits. If your mate says they are going to a particular romantic getaway spot by themselves or with friends....boy... the signs are on the wall! It's over!
The above are just a few key points to look out for in a relationship that is going bad. Always remember a healthy relationship should be uplifting and positive.
Author: Gabby Love offers in depth reviews and recommendations concerning relationships,sex,and entertainment. Visit some of the sites reviewed by Gabby Love at http://www.gabbylove.com, http://www.24hrsofdating.com, http://www.2lovesex.com, and http://www.gabbyluv.com.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
In order to learn how to seduce a woman you need to understand that the most important thing is to pinpoint the moment when a woman wants to have sex as much as you do. A woman wants to be pursued and desired by a man. You must have enough courage to make the first move. Once you make the first move you are on the path of knowing how to seduce a woman.
When you decide to make the first move it is important to understand that it is only natural to be nervous. The best time to make a first move is during a transitional stage in a relationship. This is when a relationship goes from being non physical to physical. You want to locate opportunities where you can move ahead and interact with a woman.
The transition should be well planned in order to seduce the woman. When figuring out how to seduce a woman you must always plan ahead. You should jot down certain moments such as where you can progress from getting a woman's number, to touching her, to kissing her and to seducing her. The transition should seem non-offensive and non-intentional. You do not want to come on as being too aggressive or too needy.
When you are learning how to seduce a woman you should understand a woman from deep within. This means that you must understand what she wants in order for you to progress. She may want a man who is confident or a man who is a gentleman or a man who is interested in a specific cause. Find out what she responds to, in order to be successful.
When you are making the first mover remember to be methodical, articulate and calculative. Plan ahead and know how to seduce a woman. You should set the scene so to speak. Seducing a woman is an art form that has a certain rhythm. The progression from friends to intimacy should be well thought out and smooth.
Make a woman desire you. Seduction is a two way street. When you make the first move make sure that the woman is responding to your filtrations. Evaluate her smile and gestures. These will allow you to know when the perfect moment has arrived to practice the art of seduction. As many seduction experts agree even a player or Casanova must be smooth and articulate when seducing a woman. This is how to seduce a woman.
Author: Penny Susman
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
Running a home and a family by yourself is a major task and one which can leave you with very little time for yourself, when it comes to thinking about dating then it could seem more trouble than its worth. However if you are a single parent and want to get back into the dating scene then you can take a much simpler option than traveling around bars and clubs looking for a partner. The easiest way to get back into dating for single parents is to go online, there are many opportunities online for the single parent to meet someone and here is some tips and advice to make things a little easier.
One of the biggest benefits to online dating is the amount of sites that are gaining in popularity based on such as single parents. A single parent dating site is the best place to start when you are thinking of getting back out there and meeting people, the biggest advantage to it of course is that you can do this all from the comfort of your own home.
A single parent dating service can make a huge difference in your life not only in the dating aspect but you can be assured that by going with a specialist site everyone there will be in the same boat as you and so understand how hard it can be for the single parent when it comes to dating and making new friends. Everyone will understand the stress and strains that being a single parent has and as you are online from the comfort of your own home then you can chat at times that are most suited to your commitments at home.
Along with online chatting you have the ability to stay in touch by email, eventually the phone and if and when you think the time is right you can meet and take the relationship further. By using a dating site you are in total control of how much information you give out regarding yourself and so it is one of the safest ways of meeting new people when it comes to dating for single parents.
Author: Jason Hulott is Director at UK Diets Online (http://www.uk-diets-online.co.uk), a service that provides information about all the major diet systems available, healthy eating and diet information. Visit now and take advantage of our special deals with Weightwatchers.
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The answer to this question should be a resounding 'Yes' but unfortunately when you are working with human emotions, there's no sure thing and this is the case when it comes to the way women think about nice guys! Nice guys are attractive to many women, but whether they get more dates than those guys who aren't so nice is relative to the amount of women they are interested in and want to date. Although there are women who find nice guys sexy, there are also those women who think that a nice guy must by definition be boring!
Nice guys aren't necessarily boring however. Being polite and caring about others isn't boring - it may be a little outdated in a society where the survival of the fittest and those who dare win are the cultural norms, but that doesn't make it boring. What a nice guy does mean is that the women they date should find that they are never stood up, they are never cheated on and that they are secure in their relationships. These three things are often missing from relationships with guys who walk on the dangerous side of life.
Women who are looking for adventure won't be interested in 'nice guys'. They want guys who are prepared to make them feel that they are a little wild rather than like a princess! The nice guy however wins in the long run because when it comes to settling down most women would choose a nice guy over a wild one for their life partner - realizing that this is the guy who will bring them both emotional and financial security.
Just as nice girls have a tendency to attract wild guys who will break their hearts, there are many nice guys who can attest to the fact that wild girls are also out there looking to mess with the emotions of a nice guy. There are also a number of ex nice guys out there who changed their persona having been messed around by girls who abused their nice guy image. There's a lot of truth in the old cliché about opposites attracting - and it's certainly true in the case of nice guys and wild girls (as well as vice versa), at least in short term relationships.
Nice guys may not always get more dates than their wilder counterparts, but they are more likely to end up in more permanent relationships which is with a either a nice girl or a wild girl they have tamed! If you're a nice guy, and you feel that it's not working for you, hang in there - hang in there, the odds are you'll still come out a winner!
Author: Nicole Love- Get access to a growing collection of dating and seduction tips for men at http://dating-and-seduction-tips.blogspot.com . You will also find free downloads and incredible offers.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
Making successful small talk with someone you've just met isn't rocket science, but it does demand more effort than tossing out a tired opening line.
The added pressure of a social situation, a date, a party, an encounter at a singles club may tie your tongue into knots. That's because over at the end of the bar sits a 500-pound gorilla named Sex who's difficult to disregard.
During my days as a Playboy magazine receptionist, I chatted up everyone who walked in the door. That gorilla was a permanent resident at Playboy, but I learned to ignore him (Get thee behind me, Simian!) and concentrate on the person at hand. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised how quickly people open up.
To get the ball rolling, here are five practical principles for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say.
1. Flattery will get you everywhere. Make with the compliments to begin on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment. Good: Better, "You have such lovely long fingers. Do you play an instrument?" Bad: "Nice rack." That one will bring the gorilla into your threesome before you're even a twosome.
2. Props. Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points. "Those shoes are sensational. Are they comfortable?"
Check out a guy's tie, glasses and watch. Look at his feet. I have a mild-mannered cousin who indulges himself by choosing socks with wild patterns. Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have, "Have you read this?"
3. Redirection. Everyone who walked into the Playboy magazine office had business of some kind on his or her mind. My challenge was to find out what he or she did for relaxation. People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some shoptalk. Try to discover what is not obvious - the mind in the sexy blonde, the animal in the geek.
4. Ask more than yes/no questions. A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no query can bog you down in a monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Bruce Willis movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"
5. Listen, really listen, to the other person. Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.
Author: Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Slinky Online Dating Australia, a unique Australian online dating service, offering singles access to people searching for friendship, relationships, romance and love. Slinky is Free to join, and welcomes single Australians everywhere to try out our service and meet someone special today.
For more information : www.Slinky.com .
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