If you spend any time reading the profiles on Match.com or any of the other online dating sites, you'll see a lot of women who say they just want to meet "a nice guy."
Furthermore, if you talk to women about relationships often you'll hear, "I'm tired of dating all these jerks. I just want to meet a nice guy."
Guys read and hear this, so when they meet a woman, they act like a "nice guy." They're sweet, respectful, give her compliments, gifts a peck on the cheek--and they never see her again.
What's her reason? She'll say, "he was a really nice guy, but there was no chemistry there." Remarkably enough, this is the same woman who says, "I just want to meet a nice guy."
What's the disconnect, what's going on here? Why do women say they want to meet nice guys, but when they do meet one they don't want to see him again because there's no "chemistry?"
The answer has to do with what we as men think a nice guy is, and what women really mean when they say a "nice guy."
We think of a "nice guy" as a guy who's meek, mild, unoffensive, humble, a guy who compliments women, buys them gifts, lets them make all the decisions, wants her to "just be happy," and is very careful to do nothing to offend her.
Women think of a nice guy as a guy who makes them feel like they feel when they're around the jerkiest of jerks, but doesn't come with the baggage and negative behaviors the jerks always come with.
Here's what women want when they say they want to meet a "nice guy:" a man with a strong sense of personal authority, with a naughty, fun, playful side, who genuinely likes women. While he engages in "naughty behavior" he doesn't do the things jerks do: lying, abusing, freeloading, etc.
In other words the "nice guy" women want makes them feel like she's with a jerk without the bad behaviors the jerk brings. So next time you hear or read a woman say, "I just want to meet a nice guy," you'll know what she really means--and it has nothing to do with how men define a nice guy.
Author: John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", runs the website http://www.manold.com.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
It's a classic topic of conversation for guys: What kind of men do women want, nice guys or bad boys? An interesting statistic tells us just what kind of personality women want in men. A survey by TopDatingTips.com found that 38% of women prefer nice guys, 15% prefer bad guys, and 34% prefer a blend of both.
Did you hear that last number? A good 1/3 of women don't want guys who are 100% good or 100% bad. 34% want a guy who's got a little good, and a little bad, in him. The good part in him makes him treat her well and shower her with affection; the bad part in him makes him exciting, dangerous, and powerful. Fortunately, mixing some bad parts with your good side isn't that difficult. It requires positive changes that will change the way you look, feel, and talk to women.
You don't have to be a bad boy to get girls. You just have to bring bad boy attitude. The five ways to do this are:
Get physical
Make her feel safe
Play on her wild side
Don't let anyone walk over you
Develop ATTITUDE
Nice guys can learn a few things from bastards. The reason many women shy away from guys who seem too nice is that they don't want a guy who'll be submissive, clingy, and dependent. They don't want a guy they can walk all over. Nice guys often treat a woman with such politeness that she can't imagine him ravaging her on her office desk. Nodding patiently, going out of your way to impress them, backing off when someone treats you inappropriately: these are the things most girls just can't stand. You're acting like you're less than them, and there's just no challenge there.
Remember, you NEVER want to give women higher status than you. The reason women always go for "bad guys" is because they project superior qualities women yearn for: confidence, adventure, popularity. Unfortunately, nice guys just don't convey those things that girls fantasize about.
But nice guys CAN be similar enough to bad boys to get the women they want. Let's look at each method of bringing in "bad boy attitude"...
1. Get physical. If you tell a woman that you do Tae Kwon Do, have a black belt in karate, or have reformed from your previous life as an amateur rugby player, she's going to immediately assume that you're the kind of guy who could protect her in an emergency. Now, if you're a 135-lb geek with spaghetti arms, she may not believe you, so I recommend that you actually get some martial arts or self defense training. Kick some ass on the football field. Join a gym and get pumped up. Show the woman that you're a warrior, and she'd better believe it, or you'll just move on to the next girl.
2. Make her feel safe. By doing the little things for her, like walking on the part of the sidewalk between her and the street, or keeping an eye open for anything potentially dangerous, or standing up for her immediately when anyone attacks her verbally or physically, she'll learn to TRUST that you, indeed, have a bad guy within you ready to stand up for her and defend her if necessary. Be the guy who straps her in her seatbelt on the roller coaster, or who offers a hand so that she doesn't trip. Trust is built upon these actions.
3. Play on her wild side. As I said before, being successful with babes takes the kind of attitude that isn't afraid of risks. If you're always concerned about being politically correct, perfectly polite, and the kind of gentleman she'd introduce to her folks, you'll see girls slip through your fingers time and time again. Be a little outrageous. Flirt with her shamelessly. Let her know that you find her sexually attractive. Drop hints that will intrigue her. Say something risqué, and grin when her mouth drops. They may act shocked, even offended, but believe me: they LOVE it when you tease.
4. Don't let anyone walk over you. You're going to find yourself in confrontational situations from time to time, with everyone watching. Stand up for yourself. Make it clear that you won't put up with that kind of treatment-even from a woman. No one has the right to talk to you in an aggressively confrontational way, lay hands on you, or threaten you. Even though your immediate instinct may be to back down to avoid a scene, quash it. Scenes draw attention, and there are always going to be women in the crowd watching whom you can impress by the way you handle the situation.
5. Develop attitude. I just can't emphasize enough how crucial having a winning, confident attitude is. You don't care what others say. You don't care what others think. No matter how a woman reacts, it just blows right over you. That's because you're always in control. No woman-whether beautiful, popular, or rich-has power over you. You don't need anyone, you're not dependent on anyone, and you don't have to cling to anyone. Got it? Good.
So give these methods a try. Work out. Act like her protector. Stand up for yourself. And develop that attitude that says you've got the power to do whatever you want. You'll be irresistible in no time!
Author: James Brito, bestselling author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women" and "The Art of Impressing Women," regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get his free six-part audio mini-course, visit: http://www.000relationships.com
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
The answer to this question should be a resounding 'Yes' but unfortunately when you are working with human emotions, there's no sure thing and this is the case when it comes to the way women think about nice guys! Nice guys are attractive to many women, but whether they get more dates than those guys who aren't so nice is relative to the amount of women they are interested in and want to date. Although there are women who find nice guys sexy, there are also those women who think that a nice guy must by definition be boring!
Nice guys aren't necessarily boring however. Being polite and caring about others isn't boring - it may be a little outdated in a society where the survival of the fittest and those who dare win are the cultural norms, but that doesn't make it boring. What a nice guy does mean is that the women they date should find that they are never stood up, they are never cheated on and that they are secure in their relationships. These three things are often missing from relationships with guys who walk on the dangerous side of life.
Women who are looking for adventure won't be interested in 'nice guys'. They want guys who are prepared to make them feel that they are a little wild rather than like a princess! The nice guy however wins in the long run because when it comes to settling down most women would choose a nice guy over a wild one for their life partner - realizing that this is the guy who will bring them both emotional and financial security.
Just as nice girls have a tendency to attract wild guys who will break their hearts, there are many nice guys who can attest to the fact that wild girls are also out there looking to mess with the emotions of a nice guy. There are also a number of ex nice guys out there who changed their persona having been messed around by girls who abused their nice guy image. There's a lot of truth in the old cliché about opposites attracting - and it's certainly true in the case of nice guys and wild girls (as well as vice versa), at least in short term relationships.
Nice guys may not always get more dates than their wilder counterparts, but they are more likely to end up in more permanent relationships which is with a either a nice girl or a wild girl they have tamed! If you're a nice guy, and you feel that it's not working for you, hang in there - hang in there, the odds are you'll still come out a winner!
Author: Nicole Love- Get access to a growing collection of dating and seduction tips for men at http://dating-and-seduction-tips.blogspot.com . You will also find free downloads and incredible offers.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
