Here's an email we recently got:
My girlfriend just broke up with me.
We were together for about a year and a half.
But most of that time was spent long distance.
Even though I hate long distancerelationships, I told her that I would dowhatever it takes to keep us together. And I did all I could to keep the relationship going.
I did all the little things that youmentioned in your book because I wanted herto fall in love with me and have romantic feelings for me so we would stay together fora long time.
What I can't understand is that it seems likethe better I treated her, the worse shetreated me, until she finally just broke up with me.
She even said to me one day, "Why do youtreat me so well? All I do is treat you like garbage.
"My question is, why is that? And how can I get her back?
Answer:
Wait, you WANT her back? OK, that's up to you.
There's no "sure thing" to get her back, buthaving her know that you aren't desperate forher is a certain first step.
To this end you must date other women.
Will that get her back? Perhaps. If she's done with you, she's done with you. But if she's just sick of a guy who doesn't mind being treated without respect, and you showsome self-respect, she might come back.
Probably not at this point, but it could happen. Dating other women and having sexwith other women must be part of this program.
When you are nice to a woman who is not nice to you, she loses respect for you and subsequently treats you worse in the next interaction.
If you accept that, she treats you worse the next time.
Taking a lot of crap is not the same as beingloving. We are not saying to be mean to women, but you have to treat yourself with respect, and you can start re-building that self-respect now.
A lot of guys are confused on this point, solet's repeat it: being loving to a woman andgiving up your self-respect are not the same thing.
So many men are afraid that no woman willever want them, so they give up their self-respect, and become unwilling to takecare of their own feelings or even to walk away from abuse.
Well, get this through your head: letting a woman walk all over you doesn't get you thegirl. Not only is it painful, it doesn'twork. So stop doing it!
In any situation with a woman where you thinkyour self-respect may be being compromised,ask yourself,
"What would the man I'm committed to being doin this situation?"
Also ask,
"What would I do in this situation if therewas an abundance of sex in my life?"
Then take the risk of losing the girl andacting with self-respect.
As they say, "living well is the bestrevenge." When a woman sees you treatingyourself with respect, she'll be more likelyto respect you, too.
Thanks to Ron Louis and David Copeland
Anyone that has been a frequent reader of the tips in thisnewsletter has noticed some very common but important themes.
They stress the importance of exuding confidence, not coming on toostrong at first, and having patience by not rushing a relationship.They pretty much give you a script to follow in order to keep awoman's interest level in you high.
I'm a senior in college as a management major and one of the books Ihad to read this semester was "What They Don't Teach You at HarvardBusiness School" by Mark McCormack. One of his business tips is tofollow the script in making a sale:
"Most deals seem to have a secret life which follows a kind ofpreordained script. Anyone who has ever killed one by closing tooquickly or too late, by shortening or extending a sale beyond itsnatural life, would probably attest to this."
The same is true in dating. How many of us have missed out on apotential relationship just because we moved too quickly, rushedthings, or came on too strong too soon. Other people miss out on arelationship because they wait too long and don't capitalize on anopportunity.
Also, we shouldn't extend a relationship beyond its natural life.Sometimes there comes a time when you have to cut your losses and
hassle, and isn\'t worth the trouble, end it. The fear of beingalone keeps people in relationships that cause them constantheartache and pain, even though they know deep down inside that theyshould end it.
The author also goes on to say, "By rewriting the script, they giveit an unhappy ending." If you've made this mistake of trying tospeed things up and have lost a relationship, learn from it. Don'tlet it happen again.
So let me remind you again to follow the script. Don't come on toostrong or reveal your feelings too soon. Don't rush things. Showsome patience and discipline by following the script, and you won'tmiss out on a potential relationship.
Thanks to Mark from SoSuave
People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the mostbeautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, Imean jellyfish with long, blond hair. - Jack Handey
Read More......
There are only two people I know that are what you would call "Natural DJs" -- both of whom are good friends. One of them is Andy, the other Liam and both of them are in there early 20s. I know one of them through uni, the other is a neighbor.
I would like to share with you some of my observations of these guys because I believe that some of their qualities are exceptional,especially when it comes to handling women and life.
Many of the qualities that I have described have been well documented in the past on this website, but I thought it would begood to present to you their most obvious character traits.
- They both have an aura about them when they speak to you. Attimes you think that you are the only person in the world whenhaving a conversation because they speak with so much enthusiasm andinterest.
- They listen to what you say enthusiastically and remember certain details.
- They never have a bad word to say about anybody and have a great understanding of others.
- On the other hand, you're not exactly sure where you sit with themat times. Though very friendly and energetic, you sometimes have toface their cold shoulder which may cause you to try and regain their attention.
- They're very popular people. These guys know a lot of people from many groups. When out they can have a conversation with anyone andare always introducing themselves to others. They do, however, haveclose friends who they stick with most of the time, but loveinviting others to join in their conversations.
- They're unpredictable when they speak to you. You know how some people when they talk to you, you know exactly what they're gonnasay? With these guys, they could come up and talk to you about politics or tell you a funny story about fishing. Each conversationis entertaining.
- They always have a story up their sleeves. They always have a goodstory to say about a certain subject and even though it may not havea punch line or be that funny, they present it with such enthusiasm that it is entertaining nonetheless.
- They are not afraid to be different in the clothes that they wearor their style of hair. Again they are unpredictable in this department and love doing something different to attract attention.They usually have just a subtle difference in style that makes themstand out.
- They walk in a very positive manner with their heads held high andwith a purpose.
- They are not caught up in the boundaries of society. In fact,they act as if they are unaware of society's rules and stereotypes.They talk to anyone and react to situations how they see it. Forexample, when they see a beautiful girl they don't think "oh thisisn't the right environment", but rather they don't think. It nevercrosses their mind. They just go talk to her.
- They aren't afraid of women. They treat all women the same,whether it be a 4 or a 10 and know that that they can have every oneof them. They talk to women about all sorts of topics as well andare never concerned about what the women will think.
- They are not necessarily good looking. One of these guys is quiteugly, in fact, but his positive vibe and good fashion sense make himquite accessible to any women.
- They love life and they love women and they love talking about women. They don't have anything against women at all, and have many female friends.
- When they talk, they talk loud. They don't care if they offend anyone when they speak and people notice this and are drawn to them.
- Finally, they are always happy and have a passion for life. Even when bad stuff happens they have a way of keeping things positive and always give off a good vibe.
Cheers!
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
I find that the key part of the game plan is to keep the conversation going. Once you have your approach down, once you have this beautiful creature lined up in your sites, what the hell do you talk about?
Well, as we have all read over and over again, the first and foremost subject that she would LOVE to talk about is, *drum roll* HERSELF! Of course.
So, sitting in bed watching a little tv the other night, I happened upon Jay Leno interviewing the ultimate babe, Pamela Anderson. So I'm thinking to myself, "My God! If I ran into Pam Anderson, I would have NO IDEA what to talk about!" Than Jay started to run his game.
I was so surprised to see how he handled it that I burst out laughing!
First, he made sure to make good use of her name. Using both Pam, and Pamela, and more than once. The whole conversation was based around Pamela.
Now being this is The Tonight Show, and everyone is watching to hear about the guest and not Jay, this is not a big surprise. The surprise was that Jay was DJing her! He kept asking short, open questions about her. She would try to shift the conversation to another topic (him usually) and he would bring it right back to her.
They hit an embarrassing moment when the crowd sent up questions for Pam and they were all about her implants. She tried to crack on Jay for putting her on the spot, and he completely IGNORED it and went right back to talking about her!
He touched her lightly on the arm and shoulder a few times, even from behind his desk! Is that's not kino I don't know what is!
Anyway, my point is, I was amazed that I could watch how Jay talked to her (or any other pretty guest I would suppose) and I could learn how to keep the small talk going and the conversation centered around HER!
So, if you want a quick easy way to watch a DJ at work, check out Jay when he has a hottie on.
P.S. Regis and Conan are also incredible flirts when they have beautiful women as guests.
thanks to JoshCole
A lot of times my friends notice me talking with beautiful women whenever we go out and they always ask me, what do you say to them, how do you spark a conversation?
Okay, it's very simple. I tell them stories. Who doesn't like stories, right? So I guess your wondering what kind of stories to tell them.
I prefer comical stories. With that in mind, you need to decide what story you want to tell. When I approach women, I like to tell them stories about how I got on the wrong bus last week, how I drank too much at this party in college and what happened, when I slipped on some ice and fell in public, etc. Just make sure that it's something funny and something they can relate to.
By the time I finish telling my story the lady is usually laughing so hard that she is crying. Nine times out of ten, they will follow-up with a story. But if they don't, I just ask them if that has ever happened to them before.
The goal is to tell them a story and then let them tell you a story (women have a lot of those). The next thing you know, twenty minutes just flew by and the both of you are enjoying each other's company.
What you have to realize is that women like something different. Most guys approach women with the intent of getting the girl's number and are very obvious about it. Now of course we want the number, but since DJs are more "seasoned" at this game, we do it in a tasteful, creative manner.
The best thing about this is that it's extremely easy and everyone has at least one funny story to tell.
by Kode Red. From SoSuave.
Nightclubs are one of the best places to meet women. Most of the women are there because they are single and available or are with someone who is.
To pick them up you need to follow a few simple steps:
1. After you enter the club begin to observe who is making eye contact with you. You will get eye contact if:
a. You are dressed a little above average.
b. You give off the aura of being a confident alpha male type.
2. If you notice a woman giving you lots of eye contact then half of your battle is won. Make sure you return the eye contact and add a smile acknowledging her interest. This is where most guys fall down and become wimps. You gotta convey that you are not afraid of her in the least bit.
3. After you have selected your target from the women who are interested in what you have displayed, i.e. proper dress, attitude, etc... Go over to her and say:
"Hello, what's your name?" (She answers.) You say, "My name is Mike. When a good song comes on I want you to dance with me, ok?" (She will 99% of the time answer ok.)
You have taken control away from her and placed it in your greedy little hands.
If you can't dance well then say to her: "Hello, how are you this evening?"
This simple statement will open the door to further conversation. This simple technique is almost impossible to mess up.
4. After you have asked her to dance tell her you will be back in a moment and leave her. Go anywhere, to the bar or circle the club where she can't see you.
5. When a song comes on that "you" like, go back to her and grab her hand and pull her to the dance floor. I never ask her to dance again, I just charge in like an alpha male and take her.
It has been my experience that women find this irresistible and will most likely follow a dominant male who knows what he wants and where he is going.
This will take you out of the possible friend category and put you into the mating category. Women are always looking for possible mates to bear their children. It's in their genetic make up. When a real man comes along they can't help but respond from their basic instincts.
6. You gotta know how to dance....
There is no excuse in today's society. It doesn't matter what nationality you are. Anyone can learn to move their bodies to the music and express themselves.
On the dance floor I will start with simple dancing with a small space between us. If she shows interest, I will move a little closer and put my hand on her shoulder. If I still get the go ahead, I will then start to control the way she moves and guide her into dirty dancing style.
By this time she is helpless and ready for whatever you want.
Copyright baLooT Inc. 2007
I speak from experience, that a crappy phone presence can either RUIN you, or make you seem so confident, mysterious, and fun that she can't WAIT to go out with you.
Here's what I've learned (and trust me, I've blown it many times and learned the hard way).
1) Nervous
I've learned how to handle this one. The trick is to WAIT until you are in a calm but goofy mood. This will be the exact right tone. Then I launch right into the cocky-goofy thing cause it flows right out.
"This is Sean... we met in the coffee bar and you gave me your number? Yeah, I just won the lottery and wondered if you were still single?" You get the idea.
2) Assertive
I've noticed that most people MUMBLE and STUMBLE all over themselves with garbage like: "What'cha been doing?" Nothing bores her more.
Instead, think of one or two RELEVANT questions to ask her according to her interests. "How's your backhand?" if she mentioned that she plays tennis.
3) Purpose
There is a REASON for this phone call, and it is to SEE her again. You are NOT some pathetic loser. You're a man, and you want to ask her out.
4) Busy?
I call this one the date killer. Surprisingly, most of us guys STILL use it. "Are you busy Friday night?"
This is insulting to her, and shows a lack of commitment on your part. Who wants to admit they have no plans for Friday? TELL her you found her interesting, and would like to get together Friday to do something related to the common interests you guys have discovered.
5) Event
If possible, make the date for something MEMORABLY EXCITING. A concert, wall rock climbing, something she's never done before. Also, remember to let her know that YOU'RE GOING regardless of whether she says yes.
This shows that you're an exciting guy, and it gives her a reason to say YES, because it's an event SHE SHOULDN'T MISS.
thanks to ChaseMe.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
