The First Date Conversation

The most dreaded thing during first dates, aside from choosing what top would go best with which pants, is what to say on your first real eye-to-eye conversation. You can’t really help it when you turn all giddy on first dates – it’s a natural thing.

There’s only one rule to first date conversations – don’t make a fool of yourself. Stop being overly anxious and suppress all signs of nervousness – appear relaxed, confident and at ease. Get the thought of rejection out of your head and avoid negative speculations. Think good thoughts, this can also help you exude a positive aura that always adds charm to your personality.


Silence can be your worst enemy on first dates, it makes me cringe just thinking about it. It can make one jump into the brink of nervousness and say things that you wish you hadn’t said. If you think the conversation will lead to some dead air, you can make little distractions like slowly sipping your drink. This would give you those precious split seconds to think of something creative to say to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

There are a number of great subjects that can jumpstart a conversation. Make a quick observation of the person you are dating – if she’s the intellectual type, current events can be a good topic to start with. Talk about your present jobs and how happy or discontented you are with your career. Along that line you can also talk about your past schools and funny experiences you might want to share. Ask your date about her hobbies and what interests her. Always add some comments or a follow-up question to keep the conversation moving forward.

Those popular “what’s-your-favorite?” questions shouldn’t be missed. You can really get to know a person’s personal taste with this type of question. Since everyone generally loves traveling, you can also talk about your past leisure trips and some of the vacation spots you fancy – of course, your date would share his or her own thoughts of a dream holiday as well, and who knows, you might even end up having a vacation together.

One can tell a good date from a bad date on the basis of how the conversation on your first date went. Be prepared and have a mental list of the possible things you can talk about. The key to a successful first date is to be yourself – and as long as you can do that, everything else will follow.

Author: Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in May 2006. He is currently the Chief Executive Officer of http://www.planjam.com -- a new interactive planning website.

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