Ever sit at a bar and look around, and notice that some guys just have that innate indescribable characteristic – that charm that attracts woman to them. I hate to burst your bubble the truth is - whether those guys are conscious of it or not, they are utilizing some very simple tactics to attract the opposite sex.
Some of the top social psychologists from all over the country have complied data that says up to 80% of interpersonal attraction is non-verbal. What they mean is that the battle isn’t finding the right thing to say, or the perfect pick up line - it’s all in the subtle idiosyncrasies that we as humans use to communicate daily with other humans – with even being aware of it. Scientists have confirmed that the battle in the bar, or the nightclub is won with body language. The editors at PLEASURELOUNGE.NET have compiled the TOP 5 ways to seduce any woman in under 60 Seconds.
1. POSTURE
Regardless of how tall, or how buff someone may be - the guy with anatomically correct and a powerful posture gives off the vibe that he is confident and important. Let’s face it, we all want to date attractive women, but we must also realize that attractive woman are hit on all the time. That’s why you have to stand out, and having a commanding and powerful posture will definitely help. There are 3 basic rules of a good powerful posture
1. Imagine a string attached to the top of your head, and then imagine someone pulled the string straight up towards the sky. This should slightly elongate the neck and straighten the back.
2. Shoulders should be slightly pulled back to reveal an open and broad chest. Too much of this and then you’ll give off the vibe that you are too cocky and probably just compensating for something…small. A broad and open chest shows that one is unafraid of the environment around them, and ready for anything that may come their way.
3. Hands - our funny five fingered extremities that are so vital to our survival, but in nerve-racking situations always run for cover in a pocket. Your hands should be free and relaxed. Hold a drink or cigarette if you must, but simply keeping your hands calm goes a very long way - The worst thing a guy can be is be the bar table drummer.
2. EYE CONTACT
Various studies on the brain have shown a massive increase in brain activity when we look directly into another persons eyes. It all goes back to Darwin and the survival of the fittest. Eyes aren’t only used to help us navigate our environments, our eyes are also how we express ourselves. I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage – Eyes are windows to your soul – I know, sounds cheesy, but in a way it’s true. Pay attention the next time you’re out at a bar and you’ll be surprised. Here are some very important signs to look for.
1. Have you ever walked past a woman whom you catch them for an instant looking at you and as soon as you focus back on them they look away. It’s what I call a “lure.” Whether she knows it or not, she is actually letting you know, through non-verbal communication that she’s interested. Woman have been molded by our society to be the prey, and allow men to be the predators. Next time you see notice that cuttie you thought was blowing you off pull one of these, attack.
2. Another very important factor in gaugeing whether or not she is interested in you is by watching the pupils. I know this sounds very CIA, but when people are attracted to you, their pupils dilate and become larger. Even more interesting is that people are also considered more attractive when their pupils are dilated. Hence, bars always that dim lighted ambiance, and let’s not forget what a couple of drinks can do to your pupils. Eyes are very revealing so pay close attention and you’ll be ahead of the game.
3. STANDING OUT
It’s funny how much you can learn about out mating rituals by observing our good friends in the animal kingdom. Although this next principle varies from specie to specie, every organism that mates is attracted to it’s counter part for certain reasons. For example, the male peacock with brightest and most robust feathers will get more peacock booty. Same goes for the duck, or the rooster with the largest RED thingy. Now I’m not saying go out dressing like Dennis Rodman, but wearing a little flare next time you go out will help you stand out from the crowd. Because let’s face, most clubs you go don’t have the best ratio. It’s usually a bunch of horny guys battling and competing with each other for the same limited resource – the hot single girl. I can’t really tell you what exactly to wear, but I can tell you that no matter how outrageous it is, if you have the balls to wear it, and be confident – you’ll definitely stand out from that sea of douche bags.
4. SMILING
I was very skeptical about this tip until I actually went into the trenches and tried it myself. The principle is really simple – Whenever you enter a room, come in as though you’re the king of the world and that you’re feeling like a million bucks. Studied have shown that in a crowded room, such as a bar, or a club, the people that are most noticed are the one’s who just come in. However, the way most brains work is that if some object is relatively similar to all surrounding objects then that thing will probably go unnoticed. So I took to the streets with some of my fellow PLEASURELOUNGE.NET editors and hit up some local hot spots to see what exactly us guys look like in action, and I have to say, Derek Zoolander would be very threatened at all the Blue Steel wannabees walking in. It was very easy to see how a smile and maybe even a chuckle could make you more desirable in to woman in under 30 seconds.
5. THE FIRST MOVE
This is by far the most important thing every man should know and live by. Even if you have all four of the previous tips perfected, without this you are just not in control. I like to call it the 3 SECOND RULE. Man’s worst enemy in bars and clubs aren’t other men, or bitchy pre-menstrual woman – Man’s worst enemy is himself and his own insecurities. We all have them, and chances are we will always have them. The 3 SECOND RULE was designed to bypass anyone’s insecurity and probably the easiest tip on this list. So with out further adieu – The next time you see a woman you’re attracted to and want to approach, you have exactly 3 seconds to make your move before your insecurities will talk to you out of it. Now I’m not a shrink, and I’m not even going to touch on the subject of what causes insecurity in men and blah blah blah…The truth is I don’t care. Because if you make your move in 3 seconds or less, you never have to let those insecurities affect you. That’s all there is too it. From the very first moment you lay your eyes on that beautiful blonde with perfect breasts and Angelina Jolie lips, you better get your ass in gear because after 3 seconds, I guarantee you that you’ll just another one of those guys, standing up against the bar drooling all over yourself wondering what could have been.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
I, like most of the people tend to prefer free services rather than pay for them. Yet, there are certain services I would prefer paying for. Dating services are one of them.
As an experienced user of online dating services, I have developed methods of evaluating online dating websites. These methods contain various parameters - The number of registered users, the quality of the dating service and many others. By now, in all cases, free dating websites were found less effective than other online dating services.
Think of all the money you have spent on awful dates, think of all the efforts you have wasted on trying to find a date, preparing for a date and trying to cheer yourself up after a bad date. Now, if someone could promise you, you could spare much of this wasted money and effort by paying a few bucks to online dating services, wouldn't you take it in two hands? I would. Unfortunately, no body could promise us anything. But, I truly believe that free dating services are a waste of time.
Free dating services also hold some hidden risks:
First, Nothing is free. If the dating service owners claim that it is free, they would do anything to sell you other stuff from fishy e-books to cheap perfumes. Do you really want it?
Second, Free services are usually being used by crooks and pervert people. Think that anyone would be able to see all your details without having to pay for it or fill in any personal details.
So what should you do? You should find the best dating services website for your needs. In most of the popular online dating services you could sign up for a free trial. That would be the best way to get free dating services. Good Luck.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
Dating after a divorce is tough. Let's face it getting back into dating at any time is a minefield. You don't quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions.
1. Too much too soon
So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been an exchange of emails. He sounds fun and witty and you begin to look forward to his messages. You find yourself getting up earlier in the morning just to log on whilst you drink your coffee to see if he has sent a response to your latest remarks. During the day you compile witty replies in your head and suggestive lines to throw his way. This has gone on for a couple of weeks and he suddenly asks if he can call you. Your chest expands; you are really excited and arrange a time. Now you are curled up in your favourite chair waiting for the call. Guess what it goes well, the same light banter, his voice is not what you expect but that is OK. You talk for an hour. This becomes a daily ritual which you begin to plan your time around. And then he invites you to dinner.
2. Throwing money at it
It has been a while since someone invited you out to dinner (you may be just starting dating after your divorce). Your immediate thought is what to wear, need my hair done etc. This means that you spend the best part of a week running around with the one thought in your mind "I must get this right". You seem to have disappeared and you feel that you need to invent a new person to go on this date. In order to be that person you have to package yourself in some particular way. There must be some key that you can find, a particular dress, new haircut etc. You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing.
3. Thinking that you know the person
The evening has arrived and you meet at the arranged restaurant (good step, as all the dating advice recommends that you meet in a public place). You are especially nervous and excited but also slightly uncomfortable because the shoes are new and you feel a bit wobbly in them. It is strange you recognise this person but at the same time you don't. The voice you know that but he does not look like the person in the photograph, taller, shorter a bit heavier or gangly something is not as you imagined. Anyway he seems quite at ease but maybe that is just a contrast to how you are feeling. Initially conversation is going well as there are points of contact from your previous conversations but it isn't going anywhere. By the main course you are starting to drink a little too much to fill in the silences. Your feet really hurt now and you are taking surreptitious glances at your watch - only 9 o'clock. No dessert thanks and by the way you have an early start in the office tomorrow so you have to go soon. Can't think of anything but getting out of the shoes. Yes it was good, do call me.
4. Fantasy - it's only in your head
Next day or later in the week, the emails/calls are still coming and you continue to respond. It's a though you have never met and you can get on with the easy going repartee that has become almost a habit. In your mind he is something you want him to be, well not quite but you can have yourself believe that he is whilst you exchange messages and late night calls. You are starting to develop a whole life in your head around this person, you imagine where you can live with him, what you will do, holidays together in fact everything you ever want with someone. This is taking up a lot of head space but that is enjoyable in itself, you feel connected to someone if only in your mind.
5. Not paying attention to the signals
A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again. You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is about getting to know someone. I can't expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately. He is suggesting dinner again, you don't really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can't make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.
The second evening seems very long.
Too much too soon - It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people.
Dating Advice: Don't make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.
Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to Ł1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.
Dating Advice: Packaging is not the answer, be clear about who you are, what you want in a relationship and set about finding it in a considered way.
Thinking you know this person - We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.
Dating Advice: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.
Fantasy - it's only in your head - It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place - you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them whilst finding out about other people at the same time. Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn't going to work out.
Dating Advice: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.
Not paying enough attention to the signals - it is amazing how quickly we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.
Dating Advice: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for someone who can meet these.
- baLooT Inc 2007 -
This is one of the easiest ways to flirt and let someone know you're interested in them without having to run the risk of getting rejected face to face.
When it comes to flirting, you can get your point across very easily just using your eyes. Take a moment and watch people who are in love. See how they look at each other - they stare directly into each other's eyes for extended periods of time.
Look at mere friends. See their eyes? They seem to flit back and forth, making eye contact, but never extended eye contact.
What do I mean by extended eye contact?
Holding someone's gaze for 1-2 seconds and looking deep into their eyes during that time. I realize that couples may look at each other in this way for longer periods of time, but remember they are ALLOWED to do this - they are a couple. For our purposes, you are just flirting.
If you were to try and stare into some girl's eyes for long periods of time (especially if you don't know her), she will think that you're staring at her and she'll think that you're strange, as you're making her feel uncomfortable.
The goal here is to make eye contact with her, and to hold her attention by looking straight into her eyes for a couple of seconds so that she gets the idea that you're interested in her.
Be sure to smile, or to at least have a partial smile on your face as you do this. If you stare at her like this with a stone face, you'll freak her out.
She'll either think that you're mad at her, or that you're just some type of psycho (both are bad).
If she seems to quickly look away, she is either playing hard to get, or she doesn't have an interest in you. Either way, if you feel that she's worth the effort, you will probably have to pursue some decent conversation with her.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
Flirting in an online dating service is pretty much just the same as it is in the offline world, except for a few great points, when you are flirting online you can do it with much more confidence and you do not have to worry about things like stuttering or saying something silly because you type everything you say and you can take as long as you need to reply to something.
Here are a few tips for flirting online:
Be pleasant. Try to be as pleasant as you can about everything you say, you aren't going to make a friend by saying a bunch of negative comments and making remarks about something in an unpleasant manner, just be pleasant when you talk with someone. If you feel as though you really want to say something unpleasant, just don't say anything at all, you know the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", well it's true, if you need to you can just say that you would like to change the subject of conversation.
Listen to the other person. When you are talking with someone, you should not hold the entire conversation yourself, let the other person put their opinions and views across and make sure they know that you are listening. It can be very frustrating when you say something and the person you are talking to completely ignores your comment, don't make others feel like that and they will like you more for it.
Compliment. Compliments can be very powerful for letting someone know that you like them and enjoy talking with them, try to compliment the person you are talking to about things like their profile picture, comments they make or anything that you feel deserves one.
Be fun. Make the conversation fun for both you and the other person, you can do this with simple little things like making short jokes or talking about funny things, just don't let the conversation become to serious until either you both need to talk about something serious. When you first meet someone it would be best to try and keep the conversations fun and light hearted.
Follow up. When you have a good conversation with someone and you would like to talk to them again, it is a great idea to send them an email or a message thanking them for the chat and to ask if they would like to chat again sometime, if they do want to, you should also initiate the next chat as this will show them that you are interested.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
Knowing when a woman is flirting is an important skill for all men to learn. If you can tell when a woman is flirting with you, it'll make it easy build rapport and attraction.
But for some men, it's hard to figure out when a woman is flirting and when she is trying to be polite. In other words, these guys have trouble picking up on the subtle flirting cues which all women give off.
In order to increase your chances of getting her number and going on a date, you have to know when a woman is flirting during your conversation. Today, I'll cover three ways that can tell when a woman is showing signs of flirting.
First Sign of Flirting- She comes over and initiates a conversation with you
The first sign that a woman is trying to flirt is if she approaches you and strikes up a conversation. Most of the time, a woman will never start a conversation with a guy. As a result, you can tell when one is trying to flirt if she suddenly walks up to you and starts talking.
However there are a few girls who just like to talk. So if a woman initiates a conversation, she might not be trying to flirt.
Typically she'll do this by asking you open ended questions and trying to get you to talk more about yourself. Basically she's doing this with the intention of getting you to continue the conversation and getting to know her more intimately.
Second Sign of Flirting - She's laughs at your jokes and loves listening to you
When a woman seems to hang on to every word and laughs at your jokes, she's demonstrating a sign of attraction. Usually you can tell when a woman is flirting by how she responds to your conversational skills. In fact, we tend to classify the term 'hitting it off' as when two people have chemistry during a conversation.
So if she likes talking to you and seems to enjoy your conversation, then you're probably receiving a subtle message that she wants to "know you better".
Third Sign of Flirting - She gives you tons of compliments
Usually most women will wait for a guy to compliment them before saying anything nice in return. This is due to the fact that they're used to being pursued by men and made to feel like queens.
So a when a woman compliments you, she's giving an indication that she is interested and attracted to you.
All three of these signs of flirting suggest the fact that women can be just as forward with indicators of attraction. When you she flirts with you, it means she wants you to flirt back and take the next step from your conversation. This means she could want you to get her number, set up a date or even kiss her. So pay close attention because you don't want to miss any of these flirting signs.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
How to flirt with girls is no easy task. It if was, you would not be reading this right now, you'd already know how to do it... Let's take a deeper look into how to flirt with girls the "right way."
Look, I work with tons of guys and I know that most of them no absolutely nothing when it comes down to flirting with girls. Either they overdo it and come off like a horse's butt, or they don't do enough of it and fail to create that sexual tension. These guys are always referred to as the "nice guy" and have many girl "friends" and experience little to no romance.
If you're going to have any success in flirting with girls, you need to relax! Yes, I said you need to relax and not be so uptight. Girls sense when you're too uptight and they will lose interest faster than you can say your next word. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to get this!
When you feel uptight, just take a look into her eye and picture her falling asleep. It does sound weird to think that, I know but when you see her beautiful face falling asleep snoring like an old lady she tends to not look so important anymore. What I'm trying to do here is to get you to realize that she's not all that important to you. So why are you going to flip out in her presence?
Being a flirt means being playful. There's a lot of stuff out there about the importance of being "cocky." Honestly that idea is well played out. All the guys that I've talked to tell me the exact same thing:
"When I get cocky with my girl, she loses interest. I always look like a jerk!"
You see. That's I'm not telling you to act cocky. The way to be is playful. Just teasing her is great. Treat her with humor, like she's some nerd in high school or something. Bust on her when she does something dumb. Just be sure to smile when you do this or you'll really be seen as a jerk.
Here's one obvious tip... never under any circumstance make fun of the way she looks. Compliment her on her look, but never joke about it. Just joke with her on her behavior - that's when the fun starts, but stay away from any negative comments on her appearance.
The killer combination, as I like to call it, is to be playful right along with being a gentleman. Open the door for her, pull out her chair, help her carry things, giver her help with her jacked, all of those little things... do them!
Be as nice and courteous as possible to her. Just mix it in with the teasing and playful combo. Having both of these qualities in the mix will allow you to be the gentleman most girls want. Without that you're just her friend, the nice guy. No thanks!
You come out the big winner by showing her that you're fun and a gentleman. It's what's known as push and pull. I go into more details in my book as to how to get her attention and how to flirt with girls properly. For now, just remember that when you tease her you push her away (mentally), then when you are a gentleman you pull her towards you. This creates the sexual tension you're looking for.
As I mentioned, sexual tension is created when you push and pull your girl. To have success flirting with girls means that you know how to create tension. You know when to kick it up, and to bring it down, when to drop the whole thing all together. It takes time to master it and just focus on these principles to speed up the process.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
Romance can stagnate. There are those that think that because you are in love you shouldn't have to work at love. That's not at all true. You must keep love alive by being kind to each other, being honest with each other, compromising, trying something new and adventurous and just being romantic. Here are ten fast ways to reignite a romance that has grown somewhat stale.
Part of the reason a romance stagnates is because you know each other too well, you've become too predictable to each other. Predicable translates into boring.
Perhaps the most common complaint women express about their husbands and long term partners is that they're never spontaneous.
"I wasn't going to turn around and come back when I remembered it was your birthday. I would have wasted my plane ticket."
Can you imagine, however, if you showed up at the door with a dozen roses and a bottle of shampoo when you were supposed to be at the other end of the state in a business meeting?
What wonderful spontaneity and what a wonderful reaction you'd get to "I couldn't go without celebrating your birthday with you." What love and romance that would convey.
So, yes, spontaneity is the first of the 10 fast ways to reignite romance.
The second way to reignite your stagnating romance is to talk to each other, to listen to each other, and to do things together that make you laugh. Don't hide your feelings - open up and trust each other.
Love notes reignite romance as well. Make a path of love notes - perhaps a poem of sticky notes - down the hall and into the bedroom - that says how much you love her.
The fourth of the 10 fast ways to reignite romance is to compliment your partner. Say nice things about her or him to others within hearing of your partner.
Don't paw her or him when others around but be affectionate. It's sweet to see elderly couples holding hands walking down the street.
Be responsive to their needs. Offer to be the one to run to the store when they're the one that wants the ice cream. Or better yet, take her or him to the Dairy Queen for a sundae.
Show your partner respect. Don't belittle them or their opinions and ideas just because they don't agree with yours.
Reignite romance by doing something special, some little thing you know they would like to do. Give up your night in front of the game for a walk by the lake.
Number eight of the ten fast ways to reignite romance is to not react with anger when your partner says something particularly nasty in the heat of an argument.
Wait until things cool off and then calmly and rationally explain why it angered and hurt you. You're probably going to get an apology as well as some insight into some of your annoying habits as well.
Another way to reignite romance is to take responsibility for yourself. Your partner is not responsible for your health or your happiness. Quit the cigarettes, get out and exercise and find creative and recreational outlets with other than your partner once in a while so she or he can feel free to do the same.
The last of the 10 fast ways to reignite romance is to let yourself feel free to communicate without evasion or deception, or holding back. Trust your partner and show her or him that you do. That will reignite romance.
Copyright baLooT Inc 2007.
